No More Koda's

I had a pretty good day at work yesterday... The drive home wasn't bad, but anytime you have to commute for more than a half hour it's not good either.

Pulling into the street, I see that my wife's friend has decided that my side of the driveway looks like a good spot to park - which means I get to move my car before going to bed.

I open the door of the house and am greeted with a cacophony of screaming mutant kids. There are 5 of them ranging in age from 7 down to 1. There is one other in the TV room, but he can't walk yet. So 5 of them are running around the stairs, sometimes in the same direction, sometimes in opposite directions, all times screaming at the tops of their lungs. Then they run over and jump on the new couches. My stress level approaches 8 out of 10 - It was 2 when I walked in.

Walk into the kitchen. It's trashed and they've left the milk out - again. Look down into the TV room to see wife and the friend. Kind of get a wave from the wife, who kind of pauses in the conversation but not really. Turn the laptop on. Looks like the kids have been playing on it again, and one of them had some candy... 9 out of 10.

I haven't eaten all day... There's no food - well there are some rolls, but the kids left those out too - so they're kind of stale. Grab a couple, smother butter on them... Stress level back to 8, 7. Kids run in screaming. 3 year old and 1 year old run into each other. The playful screaming is now mixed with 2 of them crying and screamin from pain. 7, 8, 9, 10. I calm them down, hand off the 1 year old to the wife. She tells me she wants to take care of a Church thing tonight. Church not high on list of things I care about right now, but I need to stay out of the dog house. "Sure!!"

Went back to laptop. Pull up the page for my health insurance. Click the provider list. Look up Urologists. Damn programmer did a lousy job programming the search feature. Finally find a list of urologists in Ogden. Find the one recommended by my buddy a year ago. Dial the number, walk up stairs, and hit Talk. Phone rings, automated voice tells me which buttons to push.

Little voice inside says "Are you sure?". Door to my bedroom flies open. Kids run in screaming. Kids see my face. Kids run out screaming in terror. Door slams. "Yes, I'm bloody sure!!!" Sweet nurse answers the phone. I'm sickly sweet in return. No openings till February. That's OK, I think I may just go celibate until then, just to make sure. Appointment Scheduled.

I go down stairs, give the wife the thumbs up, and then show the phone and make a scissor type motion with my other hand. She smiles - FINALLY.

Yep, not planning on any more little Koda's in this household.