Tuesday, December 29, 2009

It's Been a While

I thought I might have posted this some time back, and as I search back through my postings, I realized that I haven't posted any Garfunkel and Oats for over 3 months...

Please allow me to rectify said situation, also this will make up for my political rantings yesterday - hopefully!

Monday, December 28, 2009

Being the Mrs. Urban Koda

Mrs Koda and I saw this on a promotional clip for the Family Guy last night. I stopped breathing about 15 seconds in because I was laughing so hard.

Due to a number of reasons... Failed birth control, misguided religious advise, horny husband syndrome, etc. we have 5 kids.

This is Mrs. Koda's life right now...

Post #350 - Action Packed and Guaranteed to Thrill!

OK Folks, it's post number 350, and so it has to be a good one. Can't have another major milestone go by with just some mediocre observations or moderately humorous YouTube clip... OK - so I'll include a YouTube clip, but it has relevance to something else.

First things first... Mrs Koda informed me of a grave error on my part several weeks ago. When discussing a practice in the LDS Church wherein the men pair up and visit homes to keep people in line, I made reference to there being just two families in our neighborhood whom we can call on when things get tough, and whom we trust. In so saying I excluded a rather important family who lives in the next city, and in fact the only friend of Mrs Koda who knows about these blogs, and knows the fully extent of my feelings towards the religion in which I was raised.

I'm not sure if she would like to be named by name, but... EB - you and your family are definitely great friends, and I apologize for not including you in the original post... Would including you in a post like this be considered that much more prestigious? OK, given that it's on this blog, so I guess not... But I tried!!

Next of the agenda... My wife and I faced a critical juncture in our quest for eternal salvation yesterday. LDS Faithful may not find my account of it too flattering, but for the rest of my readers... Check it out on my other blog - but only after you get done reading through this fantastic post. I'll put a link at the end.

Next... Politics, and to keep it fair, I want to do a bit of a critique aimed at both sides of the political aisle. I'll start with the right, since it's about a lady, and there's the old maxim of ladies first - likely from the days of chivalry, but that's an interesting topic I may touch on later.

So Sarah Palin has a new book out... Going Rogue. She came to Salt Lake for a book signing, and I doubt if Jesus himself would have garnered quite such a reception. There was even all night coverage of the line of over-weight and politically clueless who lined up in the sub-zero temps to get her autograph. Comments were usually along the lines of "What do you like about Sarah Palin?" "She's awesome and I like the way she thinks" "What is it about her thinking that you like?" "I just like the way she thinks and I just like her." They were non-committal, obviously clueless comments by people who've been told to like her and aren't quite sure why. Actually comments which I think would rival any of the mindless dribble spewed forth by Palin during her Katie Couric interview. But hey, to each his own and they aren't really the target of my critique.

Going Rogue. Interesting title, but like the following mash-up of clips from the Princess Bride...

She keeps using the word "Rogue" and "Maverick", but I do not think she knows what that means. Sarah, in case you happen to read this in the midst of your daily perusal of all newspapers and all other news sources...

Parroting the party line and saying you're a maverick, does not you a maverick make. You did nothing roguish or mavericky on the campaign trail, other than to make a laughing stock out of yourself, your state and the McCain campaign - but I think Bushy already pulled that one of for the Republicans with his "God told me to invade Iraq" and similar comments, so it's hardly original.

But I'll leave the poor, poor lady alone, goodness knows she has enough to worry about.

Moving to the other side of the aisle, it looks like we may be getting close to a final bill for health-care reform, and last week I received the equivalent of a victory letter, via email, from the President himself. I'm glad something is being done, but I would hardly call it a victory.

Here are the problems I have with it...

1. One of the things I like about Mr. Obama when he ran for office was his talking of cleaning up Washington, and getting the lobbyists and all the money out of it. Sadly the story of health-care is one of the insurance industry paying off senators and congressman and spending copious quantities of money to defeat the bill. It hit home when I was sent an email asking for money to support the bill, since money was needed to counteract the millions spent by the insurance industry folks. I'm sorry, you need my money to pass a bill?!?! I voted for you in the last election... NOW DO WHAT YOU SAID YOU WOULD DO!!! Why is money even an issue?!? Shouldn't it be about right and wrong, and what's best for those you represent? I mean the people not your corporate sponsors.

2. The public option got taken out, and who knows what other piece have been added or removed to "buy" the votes of those already bought and paid for by the insurance industry. You almost have some kind of health-care passed, but it's hardly a victory. I guess on the plus side, it was just an email, and not some dog and pony show on an aircraft carrier.

I know my hopes for the president were way to optimistic and I was expecting him to fall short on a couple of things, but I think he's really dropped the ball on the health-care thing.

Finally, I spoke with a friend over Christmas. He's actually the nut job that sent me the text about Obama putting chemicals in the water to stop people breeding. I try and avoid politics with friends like that. Obviously I think he's delusional and obviously a puppet for hacks like Limbaugh and Beck, but he would probably think the same thing about me and my political leanings. And after the nasty things I said about those who dropped my as a facebook friend after I voiced some disgust at my son's teacher preventing him from seeing the President's adrress to school children, that would show me to be the same narrow minded prick I think all of them were.

To be fair I do like to hear the opposite side of the argument, but if I could offer some advise...

Whining about all the taxes you have to pay to Obama... You do realize you're being taxed at the same rate as you were under Bush, right?!?

Whining about all the corporate bailouts.... You do remember this happened while Bush was president, right?!?

Whining about government controlling industry... You do realize that these were all companies that needed bailouts, and that the men who's salaries are being capped are the ones who perpetrated the events which culminated in the decimation of your 401K... Right?!?

Mr. Obama has made his fair share of screw-ups and dick moves, but if you're going to paint him with a broad brush, at least consider what your guy did, and what Mr. McCain would have done, had he gotten elected.

Anyway that's it for magnificent post #350. In hind site it wasn't all that magnificent or amazing, so please accept my apologies for wasting your time.

If you would like to waste some more time...

Here's the account of yesterday's proceedings involving me and the Mrs.

The Price of Salvation

And on the topic of Chivalry. Pure Mormonism had an interesting take on that in a post which was just posted there.

When Mormons Take The Lord's Name In Vain

Monday, December 21, 2009

Christmas Message

I mentioned on my other blog that I teach a youth Sunday School class on Sundays. Apparently this surprised a couple of my readers, which I can't say I exactly blame them for. My policy is basically that I refuse to teach anything from my personal opinion which goes contrary to the teachings of the organization, but at the same time, there are aspects of the organization which I refuse to indoctrinate the kids with, which makes for really short lessons some weeks!

I was a little bummed that the lesson manual I have didn't have a specific Christmas message this years, however I was surprised to find the lesson scheduled for this week included only stuff I agree with, and it actually contained a message very fitting for the season.

2 quotes by the Church Leader on which the lesson was based...

“Gentleness is better than brutality.”

“Kindness is greater than coercion.”

In a world where it seems we think problems can only be resolved by the threat of military action and who has the biggest bombs, I think this is a rather poignant message.

A little more kindness, a little more gentleness and I think most of the worlds problems would resolve themselves.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

UK to Support War on Christmas

Actually, let me just add one more word for clarification to that title, since I'm not necessarily against Christmas, but I'm against all the whiny, cry baby, so called Christians who believe that Christmas is under attack.

So perhaps my title should have been...

Urban Koda to Support War on Christmas Nutjobs

I was in the car with a colleague the other day, when a news story about "The War on Christmas" came on.

In a shocking twist of irony, the news story was on people taking offense to being wished a "Happy Holidays" at a particular store. I don't know about you, but I figure that encompasses pretty much everything about this season.

My colleague agreed with how terrible it was to be wished a Happy Holidays and then continued on (And here's the irony) that he couldn't see how wishing someone a Merry Christmas could be taken as an offense.

I'll agree that it shouldn't be. I had an Isreali wish me a Merry Christmas over the weekend, and I returned the greeting, to which he said Thanks! And then I realized that he likely wasn't Christian, and so I wished him a Happy Hannukah! And the dudes face just lit up!

Christmas, Hannukah, Yule, Soltice, Kwanza, or whatever other holiday you wish to celebrate this year... Isn't it really about a celebration of life?

Actually if you want to read something pretty cool, check out this sermon from a local Church. I'm thinking I need to pay these people a visit one Sunday too!

Why It's Funny...

So I didn't have any takers on the funny within the funny on my last post...

Those of you with an LDS background, might have noticed that the bible used in the sketch is an LDS (Mormon) edition.

I did a little more research into Mr. Deity and it turns out that the creator, Mr. Brian Keith Dalton is in fact a former member of the LDS Church.

If you're familiar with LDS Doctrine too, you might find that there is an element of the sketches which seems to fit when viewing God, Christ and the whole plan from a distinctly Mormon perspective.

Anyway, I thought that was moderately interesting.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

The Funny inside the Funny

So a couple of weeks back, I posted a rather humorous video of Mr. Deity chatting with Larry about The Book.

I found a sequel yesterday...

Now here's the deal, there is a very specific demographic amongst those who read this blog who may notice something a little extra funny in the first 15 seconds of the video. I don't have a prize, but if you can spot what it is, you get bragging rights!

I'll post the answer tomorrow if no-one gets it.

Monday, December 14, 2009

This is Offensive

In keeping with my Christmas Carol theme of the past week or two...

This is a comedy type review of perhaps the worst Christmas song in the history of the world.

However, before you view it, please review the following, and if you think you might be offended please either refrain from viewing the attached. If you choose to view the clip you also accept with that decision to responsibility for any negative feelings you might have. I would also request that you refrain from posting any negative feedback, but that might actually be funny if someone did...

1 - If you are a devout Christian and are offended by parodies of God and/or Jesus, this video will offend you.

2 - If you are Buddhist and would be offended by a naughty reference to Buddha himself, this video will offend you.

3 - If you are offended by the F-word, this video will offend you.

4 - If you think that the song "Christmas Shoes" is all about the true meaning of Christmas, then this video will offend you.

OK - you have been warned!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Old Age or Cold

It has not be a good last 24 hours for the Koda brain.

Yesterday, I did a swim workout over lunch and as I was getting dressed afterwards, realized that I had forgotten to include any underwear in my bag, and since I wear my suit to the pool...

This morning as I arrived at the pool, I walked in wondering what I would do if I ever forgot my towel. And then in a few minutes later realized that as I packed my back last night, I had neglected to include.... A towel.

Now, normally these wouldn't have been huge problems. In the case of yesterday, I ended up going commando, since a wet swim suit would have caused more problems that it would have avoided.

And after forgetting a towel, I could have just taken a hot shower and tried to do the drip dry thing...

But here's the problem...

And for my metricly inclined friends...

Going commando, means that there was one less layer to protect important things from the cold, and doing the drip dry thing this morning, might have required me to call ahead to work, and have someone meet me in the parking lot to help chip me out of my seat.

I was thinking it might be old age setting in - especially in light of yesterday's final post, but perhaps it's just that my brain has frozen. Goodness knows it's been exposed to enough cold in the last week.

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Grey Hair...

So I'm 33, and to be honest I'm balding slightly and there is some gray hair creeping through. Nothing I can't handle.

Dear, sweet Mrs. Koda just came into see me, stroked my hair and then exclaimed...

Holy Crap! Grey Hair honey! Is it getting worse?

So if any of you happen to see my ego skulking off behind a bush, please send him home... I miss him!

Throwing off Scrooge!

So you know how I said I was having a real hard time with Christmas Carols this year?

I still am, but I've found a couple of exceptions which I wanted to share.

The first actually comes with video from the source, but embedding is disabled. So you can either watch the audio only version below, or you can click here. The graphics are worth the extra click though, and you can come back and watch the others when you're done!

1. Oh Holy Night by Eric Cartman

2. Oi to the World by No Doubt

3. Carol of the Bells by The Trans Siberian Orchestra

I couldn't find a decent video of this, but this one isn't half bad. There's about 3 and half minutes of built up to it, but I enjoyed that. If you don't just skip forward to about 3:30.

I've gotta go see TSO one of the years. Their show looks phenomenal.

Happy Solstice Everyone!!

*** NEW BLOG ***

Before I tell you more, please calm down... It's not that exciting. Unless of course you're a computer geek!

I posted something a while back involving a problem with Internet Explorer and how it deals with dynamic cells in javascript different from every other browser.

Bored already? I'll post something more humorous shortly!

Anyway, I came across another issue this weekend which taxed my brain, and which didn't seem to have a solution on the internet. Rather than post it here, I figured I'd start a new blog, wherein to post all my geeky programming type observations.

As of this morning it has 2 entries!

If you're desperate for entertainment, you can view it here, but I think you'll be sorely disappointed.

In other news sometime late last night, someone came and spent several hours perusing this and my kodathink blog. I found interesting where they went and what they looked at. If it was you... I hope you found what you were looking for!!

Monday, December 07, 2009

First Kisses and Snow

I follow a South African Triathlete on Twitter. Actually, he's not just a triathlete, he's won the XTerra world championship 3 times, and could well do it again next year.

He spends a lot of his time in Reno and apparently he's there right now.

ConradStoltz It's snowing cats and dogs in Reno. Snow is so
amazing- everyone has to see it before they die http://twitpic.com/sjh5h

I miss feeling that way about snow. This morning, as I brushed it off my car at 4:45 am in temperatures hovering around 10 degrees (That's like -12 Celcius), I may have muttered a few words of contempt about it under my breath, and as I drove into work on a rather slick freeway, I may have uttered a few more.

It's kind of like that first kiss. I love being married and all, but there is a completely indescribably feeling when anticipating or participating in a first kiss. Perhaps that's why the twilight books were so big... People trying to capture that feeling through a character in a novel.

Thursday, December 03, 2009

On Becoming a Hero

As I've mentioned in the past, I've been blessed with 5 incredible kids. They're a handful, and if we had to do it all over again, I think we would probably have stopped after 2, but that said, now that I know them, I wouldn't trade any of them for the world.

For some reason though, kids love toilet humor, and my kids seem to be way ahead of the curve on this. I think one of my 3 year old son's first words was 'fart' and he not only understood the word, but could demonstrate with remarkable proficiency as well.

At this point it's probably worth mentioning that the level of language used in the post is not likely to be raised much at all as it continues, so if you're uncomfortable with the topic being discussed so far, might I recommend you return in a day or two and simply ignore this post...

Anyway, so back to the topic at hand. Even my 16 month old, little angel has discovered that if she squats down and goes "Pissssssssss!" it garners delight from all her older siblings - and disapproving looks from Mom and Dad, which is apparently a plus as well - How she knows this, I have NO idea.

Anyway, so with that background, and with the idea I've been working on, to add more lights to my house for this Christmas, I was sent the following:

I'm thinking a light display such as this would likely make me an immortal hero in the eyes of my kids - and likely all the neighborhood kids too. Actually, I was going to jot down a few of the negative consequences too, but I realized there really aren't any...

The neighbors all think I'm going to hell, and speak about me behind my back, so it's not like that would be new...

Walmart were all out of green fairy light, which was what my lighting plans were to be based on, but this doesn't call for green lights...

Perhaps I'll be adding to my light display this weekend after all!

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Liberation and Lust

A good friend and I were talking last night about the attitudes of certain people in a respective neighborhood towards us and our families.

In my case, the dipstick who called my house at 6am on a Sunday morning some months ago, and is now making a nuisance of himself trying to get me to go and do visits with him is currently being ignored by yours truly. It's not enough that I told him, I won't go... He sees it as his personal responsibility to get me to go, and is taking personal offense that I won't. It's spilled over to his wife who is now refusing to acknowledge our existence and has been quite the topic of conversation with the extended family. I know a member of the extended family quite well in fact and so I found out all about it. Very Christian like if you ask me.

My friend has similar issues.

People try to manipulate you into doing something and when you don't fall for their sneaky schemes, they take it as a personal insult against them from you.

I remarked to him as I have in the past, that there is something amazingly liberating about coming to the realization that everyone around you is convinced you're going to hell. Just kinda takes the pressure if!

So with that in mind - specifically that I'm going to hell, today's post (well actually today's second post) is brought to you by lust!!

But first, since I think most of my readership fall into the female persuasion, and because I believe in equal opportunity for lust...

Ladies, in a special clip from the Jay Leno show... Here you go!

And if it helps (I know it did Mrs. Koda), he is barely 18, so don't worry about any legal consequences of said lusting!

And finally gentleman, please enjoy!

And actually if you really want to enjoy that song - might I suggest the official music video - on which, unfortunately embedding has been disabled. You can enjoy it right here.


Here's the thing folks... I do love Christmas.

If I could cite as evidence, this somewhat blurry and low budget picture of the current nocturnal state of the Koda household.

And not only that, but I'm thinking I could very well be adding to the display if the weather holds out through the coming weekend.

But that said...

Am I totally alone and off base on this, but is anyone else just intensely annoyed by Christmas Carols on the radio? I mean, I have a radio station that I would rather listen too over anything else, but this morning as I headed to the pool, I turned it on and got... "Sleigh bells ring and you listening, in the snow the"

And that was where it ended, because I switched over to the hard rock station and got a little Beastie Boys, some P.O.D and a smidge of Metallica.

Aaaaaah! So much better.