So I just came off two weeks of having daily high doses of Pseudoephedrine... The effects of this drug are a lot like ephedra which used to be a great weight loss tool before it was pulled from the market for killing people. It's sad that stuff has to be pulled because people neglect to follow guidelines on the packet and then kill themselves, but this is supposed to be a funny entry.
In the last 3 months I have dropped over 20 pounds... This was in large part due to a diet I made up consisting mostly of protein shakes - No Whey!! is the joke in the office. Any about 80% of the weight came off the first month, and as my fat reserves have dropped and my will power weakened, that curve has leveled off.
My doctor put me of the stuff to clear up large deposits of thick slimy green and yellow stuff in my sinuses - I probably should have clarified to begin with that the humor in this post could likely be categorized in the "Bodily Functions" category, and it will get worse... As a side effect, I was pretty excited about the prospect of souping up my diet with the supplemental help. I'm not normally a drug man, but hey... You've got to follow the doctor's orders. Anyway, in the midst of this, we moved house. Ferrying several truck loads of junk from our tiny house of the last 8 years to our new one that I am not planning on moving from ever!! kind of put the brakes on any working out. In addition I found I was getting minimal sleep each night, which increases cortisol production, and really hammers your chances of losing belly fat... Three days of McDonalds, Burger Kind and Taco Del Mar probably weren't helping either.
On the last day I was on it, so old colleages too me to PF Changs in Salt Lake for lunch. It's a chinese restaurant, and I was pleasantly surprized to find the food absolutely excellent. Lettuce wraps, mongolian beef, sweet and sour chicken and some Singapore Street noodles, and I was a happy man. I was even planning to bring the wife down for a date some time. Then I walked a mile or two back to work and tried to finish up friday... That's when the discomfort started. I endured a couple of hours and then went home. I love seeing my family when I get home, and they seemed extra loving when I walked through the door. With two kids hugging my legs, a wife who needed some adult speak and another 2 kids excited about what had happened at school time stood still. Fortunately I was able to extricate myself from the mob without too many hurt feelings and tore upstairs to my fortress of solitude.
I'm not planning on going to PF Changs again any time soon. The food was excellent but the after effects were less than desirable. As I went running on Monday with a group of friends we discussed our weekend exploits. My description was a subtle description of events describing how I was feeling much better. 1 person not as familiar with the cause as the other asked if the food had tasted as good coming back up. I quietly replied that that had not been the particular problem I had faced, to which another young lass, well know for her ability to tell it how it is responded - "Nope, it came shooting out his butt!!"
The lesson from all of this... The drugs didn't really help with the weight loss like I had planned, but I think that PF Changs did help with a half pound of so. The other lesson that you are likely all hoping I had learnt prior to writing this, is that I really need to start putting content warnings at the tops of my stories.