Post #500!

On Monday June 18th, 2007, I found myself thinking about freedom. It had been on my mind for a while, and after setting up a blog a short time before, I hammered out a short couple of paragraphs and published my first posting as Urban Koda.

Freedom is Free

It's hard to tell exactly where I stood politically and religiously at the time, but I think I still believed in the Church. Politically I think I was still way right of most of the population, although I found myself become increasingly Libertarian.

Much has happened since then...

I got my pecker snipped here.

I got hacked off by a fat lady at Walmart here and have taken a lot of heat since for my stance of welfare programs.

Along the way, I went from being a huge fan of Glenn Beck, to cringing everytime I here his voice and witnessing the effect of his bigoted rants.

I'm not sure if I've had much influence, other than helping people identify cranial lumps.

But at the end of the day I've had fun and met a ton of new friends along the way.

I find myself now a Socialist Libertarian, with a strong distaste for any form of organized religion, a skeptical outlook about the existence of God, and far greater love and respect for my fellow men and women.

I know I'll forget some of my readers, but at the risk of offending some, just some special mentions...

Matsby, or The Mediocre Gatsby as he was back then... He was the catalyst who inspired me to blog, and became my first officially commenter.

Morgan Mouse, my favorite Sydney resident and the person who has most influenced my feelings towards cats. Of course most of that credit goes to Tigger.

E, always good with the comments and willing to provide feedback. E also played a key role in my being caught apostatizing by my parents - oh the memories!!

TravelVixen, or Ms. Ranty Pants. The young lady single handedly responsible for changing my opinion on socialized healthcare and likely the one foremost responsible for my becoming a freaking liberal.

CAW - Good friend and fellow conspiracy theorist. Also my favorite customer service person!

Gregoire - I'm not sure I can quite categorize this reader, other than to say of all my readers, the effect of his blogging and comments on my posts, may have had the greatest effect on me, at least religiously.

Clink - The regular anonymous provider of thoughtful feedback, and a good friend in real life

Lisa, Kuri, TGD, TGW, Bowie, AndrewS, CHansen, Rock Waterman, Leah, Sister Secret, Molly, Holly, J-Dog, Heretic, Simply Sarah, Maureen, Loren, Sean, Donna Banta and scores of others who routinely comment and provide ideas, feedback and other support.

Dave P, who it turns out was the one responsible for my suspicion that the Mormon Gestapo was tracking my movements, and the subsequent freak-out - OK, so the freakout was all me, but his visit sparked it off!

And last by by no means least... D. Sirmize. He's been a little scarce lately, but his often opposing views have forced me to be more honest, and examine my sources carefully before posting. I still think Glenn Beck is an opportunistic ass, but I try to cite actually reasons when posting stuff about him now.

There are others to be sure, some I've like, most I've loved, and only one or two who I've found to be disagreeable.

I've been told that I have the Philosophy of Satan in the Marrow of my bones, and to go crawl in a hole and die, but at the end of the day, the entire experience has been unforgettable, not in the least regrettable, and become a significant part of who I am.

To those who read in secret, thanks!

To those who read and comment, thanks as well!

And to those whom I'm now friends with in real life, thank you, thank you, thank you!

To celebrate this post, we held a party at the Koda household yesterday. It was short notice, and likely badly time, especially in conjunction with Mormon Conference and other things.

But we got a cake, had it decorated and were graced with 8 visitors during the afternoon. The largest gathering ever of Urban Koda followers.

Now to be fair, 4 of those visitors likely had little to no choice as to their attendance.

The Girl with Kaleidoscope Eyes and The Guy with the Hair... Thanks for the cookies and your friendship. It's nice to know you're not alone.

And the folks behind Mormon Expressions, your visit, and your contributions to our lives, both through our personal interactions, as well as through the podcast, have been invaluable in my journey and that of my family as well.

Thanks Everyone and here's to another 500 posts!!!

Getting Connected to Break Free

Folks, before I begin...

My next blog post will be #500 for this blog. That's a lot of writing, and with it has come a lot of new friends, memories and other good stuff.

I'm trying to think of a way to celebrate, so if anyone has any suggestions...

I'm toying with the idea of doing a meetup for any readers who might live in Northern Utah, and blogging about it. What do you think? Perhaps we could even Skype people in for it or something.

I think perhaps a cake might be in order...

Mrs. Koda may not go for the meetup, but if I can get a banana nut cake from her favorite bakery, with the cream cheese frosting, perhaps she'll go for it...

Anyway, I have another request for suggestions as well, but first the story behind it.

My phone died last weekend. It was rather sad. It's been a good phone, lasted over 2 years, and has ridden with me on a number of training rides and runs, including a marathon and a half ironman. I think an super statically charged cart at Walmart did it in, and despite it's rugged exterior, the software just couldn't handle it.

I think in many ways, I may be like my phone... Rugged on the outside, but you get the right issue, and charge it up, and I can be broken pretty easily.

Anyway, so after a couple of attempts by me, and the Verizon folks to recover the phone, I ended up having to upgrade.

So, Sunday afternoon, me and the Mrs headed to the Verizon store, and picked out our new phones. I was going to wait till I had the new job, before I got a smart phone, but I thought I'd exercise faith and get it anyway... At this time, I suspect that I might not have the job... Uh oh! But at least the vinyl business is going well!

Anyway, so I have a new Galaxy S by Samsung, and it is... SWEEEEEEEEET!

I was worried that with another connection tying me to the world, I'd become more of an introverted tech geek, but quite the opposite has happened. I'm feeling less attached to my computer, and free to spend more time with the fam. And at the same time, I can get email quicker, and respond quicker to my clients.

The only downside has been a couple of the apps. I started playing Jewel, and then yesterday I downloaded a fishing game. Both have taken up far more of my time than they should, but the good news is that I'm slowly losing interest in them.

My boss has the same phone. I've mentioned him before. He's a great guy, but unfortunately his Mormoness has caused him to be raging homophobe, and somewhat of a blind Republican type person. That aside though, I like the guy.

Unfortunately he doesn't know about my departure from Mormonism...

I though about telling him, but read somewhere that especially at work, stuff like that should be kept quiet. So I just ignore his anti-Obama emails, the Church references and all of that.

We car pool together as well, which saves money, and the environment, but raises the odd uncomfortable situation. Well, for me at least.

So we're driving home this week, and he starts suggesting apps for my phone. They're all the scripture, sunday school and other lesson type stuff apps, and he apparently LOOOOVES them.

Perhaps it was telling that I didn't immediately start trying to download them.

Anyway, since I'm not going to get those, does anyone have any other great suggestions for apps?

I used Google's Star Map at 5:30 this morning, and identified Sirius for the first time in my life. I also saw Andromeda - not sure if it's a nebula or a galaxy or if those are the same or different things.

I also discovered that my star sign does not appear to be visible in the light polluted skies above Davis County.

Oh - and since I don't want to waste post #500 on an invite to a meetup, if I do one... Shoot me an email, leave a comment, hookup with me on facebook, or send a carrier pigeon if you want in on the celebration - assuming I do something.

New Beginnings

Crazy last couple of days...

It started on Wednesday night, when kid #4 got the pukes. I had a job interview on Thursday morning, which had me worried, so it wasn't like I was going to sleep much anyway.

The interview seemed to go well... Hopefully I'll find out just how well later this week. The interesting thing is that when I spoke to my current manager about it, he indicated that he might be able to leverage the possibility of my leaving to get me a pay increase.

I appreciated the gesture, but at the same time, it's sad that it takes a threat of me leaving to do something like that.

So, if an offer gets made (PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!!), then I get to see if there is a counter offer at my current position, and then weigh the options.

The nice thing is that my boss seems to be a little extra friendly right now... Wondering if I should try and capitalize on it... I mean he's always been very accommodating, and there really isn't a reason to leave, other than the fact that we're just not making it right now. Well, that and I feel like my career is stagnating, but I think I can work with that - just need to take some initiative.

The remainder of my weekend went something like this.

Friday was relaxing. Nice to have all my vinyl projects done.

Friday night I grabbed my race packet and then took the family to Chick-Fil-A.

Kid #4 decided to puke in the restaurant though.

Kid #5 then got sick, and spent the night puking.

I raced a half marathon on Saturday morning, and completely slaughtered my previous best time for the distance.

I think with the solid training base I have, perhaps now training is more advantageous for recovery.

I got a touch of what the kids had on Saturday evening and the rest of my weekend was pretty miserable. And I still can't walk.

During the race - actually all the preceding week, my cell phone has been iffy. I got done, and tried to call Mrs. Koda, but it was acting up more than normal, and so I tried to reset it.

It's a virtually indestructible phone. Water-proof, shock-proof, dust-proof and all of that... I think the static from a shopping cart at Walmart destroyed it though.

I haven't been able to get it to turn on since.

So yesterday I went and got a new phone. It's a smart phone with internet access.

It cost a little more than my current phone, and we really don't have the money, but...

I'm hoping it will make me more productive, and hopefully from that increased productivity, I can generate more income.

It's the beginning of a new week, and I feel like it's the beginning of a new segment of my life as well... Not just the phone, but just a whole bunch of things.

I greet the new stuff with open arms and a whole bunch of confidence.



In other news, I saw these guys perform a year or so back. It has nothing to do with the above post, but I liked the song especially!

Crawling with Hands Held High

I thought I'd blogged this before, but I couldn't find it. Blogger search seems to have some limitations.

Anyway... You may or may not know that I'm a big fan of Linkin Park. This past weekend, Dish Network - my satellite provider - has been showing an hour long show, featuring Alice in Chains and Linkin Park from Sonisphere over in England.

I was particularly interested in the flags in the audience. There were a couple of Mexican flags, a Welsh flag, and even the Stars and Bars - the old Southern Confederate flag.

And then in one corner were two flags which caught my attention. It was a South African flag - the new one, and then right below it, was the old Rhodesian flag.

In many ways, the new South African flag represents a triumph over the older flag, and it's associated apartheid regime. The old Rhodesian flag may carry some of the same sentiments of the old South African flag though. Although I guess based on the problems with the ensuing regime, and it's destruction of the country, perhaps the older flag symbolizes something better.

I thought that was interesting.

One of the songs Linkin Park performed was Crawling, but right is it began, Mike Shinoda rapped out the lyrics to Hands Held High.

It was excellent.

I'll past the lyrics below, as well as a youtube clip of Hand Held High.

Two quick thoughts before I do though...

First... There is a better way to honor our countries finest young men and women, than sending them to die in the desert in the name of a corrupt government. George Bush, Dick Cheney, and all of those who benefited financially and politically from this conflict... You have blood on your hands.

Second... To all those like Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck who seem to glory in the might of the US military and somehow tie patriotism in with their deaths... In the words of Bill Mahr. "We love our troops the way Michael Vick loves his dogs."

"Hands Held High"

Turn my mic up louder I got to say something
Light weights step to the side when we come in

Feel it in your chest the syllables get pumping
People on the street they panic and start running

Words on loose leaf sheet complete coming
I jump in my mind and summon the rhyme, I'm dumping

Healing the blind I promise to let the sun in
Sick of the dark ways we march to the drum and

Jump when they tell us that they wanna see jumping
Fuck that I wanna see some fists pumping

Risk something, take back what's yours
Say something that you know they might attack you for

Cause I'm sick of being treated like I have before
Like it's stupid standing for what I'm standing for

Like this war's really just a different brand of war
Like it doesn't cater the rich and abandon poor

Like they understand you in the back of the jet
When you can't put gas in your tank

These fuckers are laughing their way to the bank and cashing the cheque
Asking you to have compassion and have some respect

For a leader so nervous in an obvious way
Stuttering and mumbling for nightly news to replay

And the rest of the world watching at the end of the day
In their living room laughing like "what did he say?"

Amen
Amen
Amen
Amen
Amen

In my living room watching but I am not laughing
Cause when it gets tense I know what might happen

World is cold the bold men take action
Have to react or get blown into fractions

Ten years old it's something to see
Another kid my age drugged under a jeep

Taken and bound and found later under a tree
I wonder if he had thought the next one could be me

Do you see the soldiers they're out today
They brush the dust from bullet proof vests away

It's ironic at times like this you pray
But a bomb blew the mosque up yesterday

There's bombs in the buses, bikes, roads
Inside your market, your shops, your clothes

My dad he's got a lot of fear I know
But enough pride inside not to let that show

My brother had a book he would hold with pride
A little red cover with a broken spine

On the back, he hand-wrote a quote inside
When the rich wage war it's the poor who die

Meanwhile, the leader just talks away
Stuttering and mumbling for nightly news to replay

And the rest of the world watching at the end of the day
both scared and angry like "what did he say?"

Amen
Amen
Amen
Amen
Amen

With hands held high into the sky so blue,
As the ocean opens up to swallow you.

Your Mother

Yes, that's right... I'm talking about your mother!

Got a problem with it?

Well, I guess we could be all childish and meet over by the flagpole like a bunch of school boys, or...

We could be grown up about it, and discuss this like adults.

For my side, I would like to submit the following:

Why an Octopus is more Awesome than your Mom

And yes, that is my assertion... Octopuses freakin' rock!

And if you're going to try and give me a hard time about my use of Octopuses as the plural form of Octopus...



And in all honesty here, I don't know many of my readers Mom's so lets just chalk this whole unfortunate incident between us, as simply a laaaame attempt on my part to be funny.

Insomnia

I'm not sure if it actually is insomnia, but I just couldn't sleep last night.

I think it may be related to excitement however.

It all began on Friday. A good friend sent me an email about a picnic for CALM - Community After Leaving Mormonism. I was so excited, I neglected to read most of the email.

Saturday came, and we got sandwiches made, potato chips and drinks purchased, and the entire tribe all loaded in the minivan for the journey down to the picnic.

It was then that I actually read the email, and realized it wasn't until Sunday, so the kids had a nice afternoon at a local park, and I'll be damned if I didn't thoroughly enjoy it. We need to do stuff like this more often, methinks!

So then came Sunday... Again we packed up and left, and found the park where the get together was happening.

There is no easy way to approach a group such as this... Especially when you're a little paranoid, and worried that the group may be a little paranoid too.

Actually, our intro went fairly well. I wondered over, mumbled something about hoping this was the right place, and before I knew it, we were surrounded by people with similar backgrounds.

Another couple arrived a little later, and it was funny to watch them try to figure out who we were and if they had the right place. They did, and they turned out to be an awesome couple, but it was still interesting to watch.

You're in Mormon Central, and I guess it just isn't natural to wonder over to a group and ask... "So are y'all the Ex-Mormons?"

An elderly lady showed up a little later as well. She had her scriptures and her Ensign (monthly Mormon publication), and did soooo not belong. I don't know if she knew the kind of group she was wondering around, but it provided those of us who did with a great amount of hilarity.

Anyway... The kids had a great time playing with the other kids there, and even our eldest son, who whined a little at the end, had to admit he enjoyed it.

For me, it was just great to spend time with people who have a similar background and outlook on life.

It wasn't negative in the least bit, just very, very positive and very affirming.

I've been needing to write an essay for submission to another group for a couple of weeks now... I kind of have the story in my head, but it just wasn't working.

I woke up around 4:30 this morning, and the story started to come together. I'm pretty excited about it, and will likely blog more about it on my other blog.

This is the second weekend in a row which has ended with a lack of sleep, but a feeling of exhilaration and accomplishment.

Last weekend it was a race with some great friends. It was all about accomplishment, inspiration and overcoming the impossible, and we finished third in our division!!!

This weekend it was similar but different. People who share a common history, and people who accept me for who I am.

I just like being myself.

No facades, no need to hide anything, just me, myself and I, interacting with real people who feel the same way.

Pure Awesomeness!!!

Next weekend may be a huge let down though... Unless I can arrange something... I've got a half marathon on Saturday morning. Perhaps we need to arrange a post-mo meet up on Sunday or something.

Finger Licking Good

So after about a week away from the office, I'm finally back.

Waking up was rough, and I was almost on time. The shower took a little longer than it should have, and by the time all was said and done... I ended up almost an hour late.

We had Chinese food last night as well, although, I suspect that despite the restaurant being owned and run by authentic looking and sounding Chinese people, it was likely an American version of Chinese cuisine.

I think if I could trade lives with anyone right now, it would be Anthony Bourdain.

Anyway, since I usually skip both breakfast and lunch on work days, I decided that leftover Chinese would be a good thing to bring in.

I filled a bowl with ham fried rice, and Mongolian Beef.

And I got a little bit of the sauce from the beef on my finger as I was putting on the lid.

Man! It was good!!

The flavor spread over my lips, and into my mouth, and the salivating began.

It was a long drive to work, and when I finally pulled in, my stomach was growling and I was drooling like nothing else.

I caved 30 minutes in...

Breakfast this morning was most of my mix of the fried rice and the beef. My lips are still tingling, and my mouth is loaded with flavors and spice.

Mmmmmmmmm!

I'm not sure if the rest of my lunch will survive much past the next hour.

Serious Balls

So I did a relay race in Southern Utah this past weekend. Much running was done, much driving took place, and there was minimal sleep. Needless to say, I am not walking with much grace today, and have spent my time thinking up creative excuses to avoid the usage of any stairs.

Down at the relay however, one team came dressed as figure skaters. Their costumes were excellent, and even better was the fact that they actually ran in them as well. In my mind that took some serious balls, and I tip my hat to the entire team.

You know what takes some serious balls as well...

A 50+ year old man comes to our door today... I waddle over with difficulty to see what he would like. He has kind of been the one teaching my 6 year old daughter for the past year or so, and I guess today at Church, they made it official. He seemed like a nice guy.

He stopped by to ask my permission for him to come and visit my daughter. On the weeks when she doesn't come to church, he wanted my permission (He mentioned wanting my permission like 5 times in the brief conversation), to stop by and give her a 10 to 15 minute lesson, one on one, with her.

In a Church where the history, albeit it hidden, contains 'prophets' marrying and screwing 14 year old girls... You want my permission, for you... A 50+ year old man, to come and visit my 6 year old daughter?!?

I'm constantly amazed - although I shouldn't be - in the way which apparently reasonable people, can completely dismiss any semblance of the idea of appropriate behavior, under the guise of 'Religious Duty'.

And yet at the same time, when I compare Mormons to the 9/11 hijackers, people get upset with me...

Sure, they don't exactly want to hijack planes and fly them into buildings, but an inappropriate relationship and interactions with my 6 year old?!? You've got to have some serious balls to even think about asking that. Do you know what you also have? Well, you sure as hell don't have my permission to interact with her, and she will not be attending your class ever again.

Down Under

Yesterday I mentioned that Mrs Koda and I talked about planning an extended vacation 'Down Under'.

Here's my thinking:

Perhaps the overarching motivation here, is history. Many of you know mine, but for those who don't... I'm African, born and raised. African blood runs in my veins and the place is and always will be my home. I would love to share part of that with my kids. Take them to places I used to go, smell the things I used to smell, tastes I tasted and things I heard.

Africa isn't the safest place right now though, and perhaps more importantly isn't great for employment either. Things are turning around, but it's still gonna take some time.

I moved to New Zealand when I was 17 and lived there until right before I turned 20 and left to go back to South Africa as a missionary.

I had a lot of really great experiences there, some of which required religious confession, which I detailed in my other blog last week... GOOD TIMES!!

Anyway, with Africa not being a viable option, I have an urge to share some of my childhood with my kids. This need seems to have increased even more as I've left Mormonism, and with it much of what I was raised with.

So with that in mind, I've been thinking a great deal about moving my family back to New Zealand.

There are other motivations as well...

I'm worried about what's going on in the US right now.

Perhaps it's just that I live and work amongst particularly violent and hateful people, but the drums of war are beating stronger each day, and the war they seem to be indicating is likely to be of the civil variety.

These are people who claim to be Christian, but possess deep hatred for opposing religions, the non-religious and people with a variety of differing opinions and lifestyles. Most are also convinced the end of the world is imminent, and I suspect will allow that thought to become increasingly self prophetic.

The US economy is also in the crapper as well, and I'm not too optimistic about it getting fixed, particularly after news on the radio recently about increasing popularity of Republicans in the upcoming elections... The very same Republicans who through a series of tax cuts, wars and financial fraud managed to cause the financial melt down in the first place. With all due respect to most of my readers, the average (and I should probably add... Conservative) American seems to lack the ability to remember events just 2 years in the past, or the ability to think past the end of their nose...

But perhaps it's just the area I live in.

I also want to give my kids the opportunity for an education in life, something far and above what they'll get in their formal schooling.

So, with all of this in mind, and likely other stuff too...

Here's what we're thinking:

We need to try and get out from under our house, although the idea to walk away and let the folks at the bank deal with it, is still veeeeery tempting. I don't think it's an entirely honest approach, but at the same time, it would appear that when we bought the house, there may have been some appraisal trickery which ultimately caused us to pay far more than we should have... No use crying over spilt milk as they say, but it seems that everyone profited off that deal, except us. Kinda pisses me off.

So, if we can overcome the house problem, then we need to build up some serious savings, which may be easier said than done, especially with 5 growing mouths to feed... Got a job interview of sorts on Thursday though!!

Next I need to seriously increase my skillset. I'm going to keep seeking out more challenging employment, and hopefully I can find some needs in New Zealand and work on teaching myself those skills to make me more marketable.

Then, I need to apply for a work permit... My current skillset has me on the short term needs list for both New Zealand and Australia. That means that I can probably get a short term permit, perhaps just for a couple of years, but that's all we're looking for right now.

And then we'll bite the bullet and do it.

In a perfect world, we'd shift over there with enough in savings to support us for a couple of years, just in case things don't go well.

After 2 years are done, we will likely come back... Unless of course we fall in love with the place and decided to try and find a way to stay.

Obviously, the chance to share some of my personal history with my kids is the primary reason, so we would be looking at moving near the Wellington area, but factoring in the other motivating factors... If that isn't possible, we may well look elsewhere in New Zealand, and perhaps over in Australia as well.

I'll post updates as and when there are developments in this 5 to 10 year plan!

New Ideas

We just got done with a long weekend, which seemed even longer due to our activities over the weekend...

For about 5 years now, I've had a side business developing software as a freelancer. It was fun to begin with, since I was a tech support guy, but now I work as a web developer, and doing that all day, and then developing all night as well... Not so much fun anymore.

Plus, Mrs Koda and the remainder of our wee tribe can't exactly help with that.

So, back in April or so, we purchased a vinyl cutter. The business has had a slow start, mostly just making stuff for Mrs Koda to decorate with and doing freebies for friends, but recently I lucked out, and scored a sweet gig, which flowed into another gig, and resulted in us spending the entire past 4 days, up to our eyeballs in vinyl!

It was cool because the Mrs and I got to spend time together and on Sunday, even the kids got involved and did a little work to help out.

Anyway... Out of that came some different thoughts and ideas.

• While the doing freebies for friends, may not make business sense, either karma, advertising or something else has really kicked in, and so we're going to keep doing it! So if any of y'all want vinyl decals, let me know!!! Within reason of course!



• Coffee is awesome!! I usually consume a fair amount of caffeine in a day, but it's usually the cold and/or fizzy kind. I got a grande cup of Kona coffee from our local donut place on Friday. Mmmmmm. I went back on Saturday Morning and got a Grande of Highlander Grog - Even more MMMMMMMMMMMM! I skipped Sunday because... Well you don't go shopping on Sunday... Mwhahahahaha! Actually I don't know why I skipped it... But then Monday morning I woke up with a headache - which I think ended up being sinus related, but it was a good enough excuse to go and grab another. I think it may be time to purchase a coffee maker!



• While discussing coffee with the Mrs... Who doesn't like the taste, like 80% of my kids... We listened to a whole bunch of Mormon Expression podcasts. We're thinking about doing something once a month for folks in Northern Davis county - unless anyone knows if there is one already... I've joked about starting my own Church, and this is kind of an extension of that idea... Get a group together in our home on a Sunday morning, have coffee, hot chocolate, tea and perhaps some snacks, and then do some mingling, and then perhaps discuss a topic related to religion, society, science or something else.

And while all of that was going on, I was running down into my basement to check on the computer, the cutter and our supply levels, and I got an email from a race I'm doing next weekend. It's a relay race in Southern Utah, and it's the second year they're doing it. I'm STOKED about doing it again this year, and am ready to sign up for next year already...

But in one of their update emails, they mentioned doing another relay race, this time out in Moab.

I kind of have a standard crew I do the Southern Utah one with, but I was wondering if anyone here would be interested in being part of a team for the Moab one. I know I have at least one runner amongst my readers - although she's out of state...

Anyway, if you're interested in being part of an Ex-mo, heretical type apostate running team, let me know - and we don't have to advertise the fact that we're ex-mo if that concerns you!

The reason I though about this, was that last year, I ended up on a team with people I didn't know. I had a great experience and gained some lifelong friends, but... Within a half hour of getting together, one of the guys comes over to one of the girls and says with great relief... "It's OK, we're all members in this van!" I think he determined my membership status when he found out I was a missionary.

I didn't have the heart to break the news to him, that I was likely a faithful Mormon's worst nightmare...

Anyway, so that was my weekend...

Oh, and... Mrs Koda and I talked about planning a two to three year extended vacation in New Zealand or Australia... I'll discuss that one more tomorrow though I think.

Thula Mama

I slept in this morning... The alarm went off, and I hit snooze, and snuggled back up to Mrs Koda, and then it went off again, and I hit snooze and snuggled back up...

The process repeated itself many times over.

When I finally got up, showered and dressed, I went to put my work shoes on, and remembered they were in my backpack downstairs, so I threw on an old pair of running shoes, and headed out, grabbing my backpack en-route.

I've been at work for almost 3 hours now, and I had every intention of changing my shoes... Or perhaps I didn't. I'm still wearing the running shoes and thoroughly enjoying the comfortable feeling they bring.

Not even sure why I share that story... Unless you happen to know me, and am wondering why I'm wondering around in running shoes, but I don't think anyone in my immediate vicinity at work has a clue.

In other news, I was watching a TED video this morning, and a video with the title, "Thula Mama" popped up. It's Zulu and is pronounced Tool-a Ma-Ma. Simply put it means Quiet Mother, or Peace Mother. Mother or Mama being a term used to refer to your biological mother, or any lady who is your senior. I knew a lot of good Mama's while I was a missionary.

Zulu Mama's are the bees knees in my opinion!

This isn't exactly my type of music, but I enjoyed the performance.

Perhaps a Celebration is in Order...

Do you know what last Sunday was? It was three months since May 30th.

May 30th is very significant to me. Sunday, May 30th, 2010, I skipped sacrament meeting as usual and then went to Church and taught my Sunday School class of 12 and 13 year olds.

The lesson went well.

I ended it by giving each of them a full size candy bar.

The I skipped priesthood, which I've been doing for almost 2 years now, and went home.

At noon I returned to the Church.

I waited outside the Bishop's Office for almost 40 minutes.

Finally he had an opening and invited me in.

He chatted a little about my training and such - fluff really.

And then he asked if I had made a decision about baptizing my daughter.

I've shared this before, but the deal was this... I haven't had a temple recommend in over 2 years. It wasn't a problem when I baptized my son. Beginning in 2009, I exercised my right, not to hand over 10% of my income to a corrupt organization.

Not paying into the coffers seems to be the big problem, although he hid it behind, my not having a recommend.

He wanted me to pay tithing in order to be allowed to baptize my daughter.

It's eerily similar to this and I think borders on extortion as well.

I told him that if I paid, I would compromise my integrity and would thus make myself unworthy to have a recommend anyway. I don't think he got that, because he brought the discussion back to tithing.

I didn't give him anything to work with, even though he tried to dig as much as he could to determine my real concerns.

Finally he asked if he could do anything for me.

I told him that I felt it best that I take a break from the Church for a while.

He gave me a long speech about coming to sacrament to resolve my concerns, and then said that as a favor to me, when the ward talked about me behind my back, he would tell them that he was working with me on my problems. He also said they would only do this because they loved me. I think it was a veiled threat, appealing to a desire to conform which I lost a while ago.

I handed over my manual, told him that my teaching partner was covering the next week, and after shaking his hand, I walked out of the building.

I had to go back in to watch my daughter getting baptized by someone else a few weeks later. It didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. But aside from that, and a couple of cub scout things, I haven't set foot in the building again.

So it's been 3 months of freedom from Sunday services.

Maybe I'll wait until a full year passes before I throw the party though!

CONTEST!!

OK Folks, I have a challenge for you.

Glenn Beck has been sharing 'The Truth' with the world, that the inhabitants of the ancient America's where descended from the Israelites.

Since most of his audience have unfortunately lost the portion of their brain which enables them to think things through, they've become accustomed to just accepting what he says as gospel.

I suspect that Glenn may have been called as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and as such is taking very seriously the role of teaching Mormon Doctrine to his viewers.

Back when I was a missionary, we used to teach a series of discussion to people who were interested in Mormonism, or people who were too nice not to let us visit with them.

The first discussion went like this:

• God is cool, and lots of people believe in him, and so do we


• Jesus is cool and we believe in him as well


• God wants to talk to you, but you have to have a prophet to tell you what God wants to tell you


• God has a prophet, and one of those prophets was Joseph Smith


• Joseph Smith was awesome, because he translated an ancient record. It was the history of the Native Americans


• Read it, and then ask God if it's true, and he'll tell you it is. And then we want to come back and ask you to join our Church

Now, they've changed the discussion a little since I went through the training program, and I'm sure in Glenn's case, he's had to adapt them a little to suit his audience. I know I had to when I was teaching someone who's third language was English, and they believed in Ancestor worship.

So this is the approach Glenn is taking...

He started his discussion with a little BRT. I left that out, but it's an acronym for Building Relationships of Trust. You want the people to like you, so you find something common which they believe in, which you can build on... Nice flowers you have, I used to garden before I was a missionary. Those red ones sure are pretty!

In Glenn's case it's fear and hatred of Islam. I must admit he did a phenomenal job.

Then he gave a quick summary of his belief in God and Satan. Don't have to dwell too long on this, since it's likely a sure bet that 99% of his audience is Christian and subscribe to that belief already.

Now the whole prophet and God speaking to us thing... That's a little tricky with Glenn, since he wants the world to follow him. He actually made a comment about people following him, as he led them too the truth. Talk about an ego.

Anyway, so we've covered God, and then Glenn who is somewhat of a Savior to mankind, and also the prophet who will teach us God's will.

(Comment: This is a sarcastic, hyperbolic type post, but I wish I was being more sarcastic than I actually am with that last paragraph.)

Now the problem Glenn faces is that if he refers to the Book of Mormon, he'll probably lose most of his audience... he needs to be subtle.

Nothing was worse to me as a missionary, than whipping out a Book of Mormon, and all of a sudden seeing the terrified look in a person's eyes, as they realized they were being spoken to by 'MORMONS!'

Anyway, but Glenn's smarter than that, and so he frames the next part inside a conspiracy theory, and uses old books to teach that the ancient inhabitants of the America's were in fact Hebrews.

If you'd like to learn more about why this is all a load of crap, I would highly recommend this series of blog posts by an actual archeologist.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

OK, but now the fun part... I have a challenge for you...

Most of Beck's audience are fundamentalist, uber-zealous Christian types. They likely hate Mormons, but make an exception in Glenn's case, since he hates Obama.

What if they realized he was teaching them about Mormonism?

Can you imagine the look on their faces?

I can kind of imagine it, but I want pictures and videos, because that would be SWEET!!!

So the contest is... Find some die hard Glenn Beck fan, get your camera out, and then share with them the real truth, that Glenn is indoctrinating them into Mormonism. I would be happy to provide more info for you, like a copy of the Introduction to the Book of Mormon and quotes from Mormon prophets about the native Americans, or Lamanites.

I'm looking for that look in the eye. The second their brain pops a blood vessel and they realize they've been had.

I'm not sure what prizes I can offer, which brings me to part two...

Anyone want to sponsor this contest with something cool?

Trifecta Shakeup

OK Folks, I think it's time for a shakup of the Trifecta...

The Hot Dude Trifecta!

So while I still think Channing Tatum is a stud, I think I've developed a bit of a man crush on this fellow...



I showed Mrs Koda this video over the weekend...

She agreed.

In fact, the first words out of her mouth were something to the effect of...

Serve me up a piece of that!!

Welcome!!

Wow!! It's been a good day in the blogosphere, which is a good thing...

Quick side note... I got a headache at work around 2 this afternoon. I think it's related to the avoidance of caffeine this week, due to a big race on Saturday.

So I took some Ibuprofen... Didn't touch it.

Drove home, squinting into the sun and trying not to cry.

Got home and had two large bowls of rice Chex covered in sugar... Nothing.

Finally I could take it no more and so I grabbed some Tylenol with Codeine, back from when I had the lump removed from my head (My most popular blog post of all time too - aside from my ill-conceived rant about the Utah Horizon Card system)...

Anyway, ended up at back to school night with the kids, and I think it finally went away, but by that time...

I WAS FLYING HIGH!!!

I'm still not totally with it, but like I said, that's all a side story.

Oh and to top it off, I ran into some fellow bloggers as I left... Sorry guys if I seemed a little spacey... My brain was somewhere between Mars and Jupiter... Any Train fans here? Don't you just love the song Drops of Jupiter?



ANYWAY! It seems like I've picked up at least 3 new followers today, a couple of which seem to be new bloggers in Outer Blogness - The internet realm occupied by those who have, or are thinking about leaving Mormonism.

To all I say... WELCOME!!

I try to keep this blog lighter, with the occasional rant about Glenn Beck and politicians who do dumb things.

I have another... The Koda Think Tank. That one deals more with Religion, and especially my personal departure from Mormonism.

P.S. Mrs Koda suggested I tap into my secret stash of Vicodin and wash it down with some Vodka... I'm questioning her judgement, but just for the record... I didn't.

At least not yet!!!

If there are some interesting posts later tonight, you could probably guess why.

Two Tea Parties

I do kinda like the thinking behind the Tea Party...

The problem is that the Tea Party is actually one name, given to two distinct groups.

The original group and perhaps the smaller, less obnoxious of the two groups consists of people who genuinely believe in freedom, libertarianism, and a form of capitalism which attempts to remove corruption from the system we now have.

In many ways I agree with these folks, and where I don't agree, I can definitely understand their rationale.

The second group are the loud obnoxious freaks who worship Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck. These people are not Libertarians, and the only parts of the Constitution they care about are the parts that help them suppress the rights and beliefs of others.

The tricky part is trying to determine which group you're talking to, because both claim to support the Constitution and both claim to be patriots.

FOLKS! I have the million dollar question which will help you determine which is which...

"So, how do you feel about the Cordoba Mosque going up in New York?"

If they freak out about it and start whining about sensitivity and Islamofascism, you can be 100% certain your speaking to a hypocritical sheep from group number 2.

Why you may ask....

I'll let Mr. Ron Paul explain here. I still maintain a Presidency consisting of Mr. Paul and President Obama could bring to pass some excellent change in America. The may seem to be polar opposites, but they're both reasonable men, with a sound understanding of their positions, and both are very articulate. I think some great compromises could be worked out.

In other news... Has Glenn Beck been called as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints?

I'll elaborate more in a day or two, but wouldn't it be an absolute riot to watch the faces of all of his fundamentalist Christian fans, if he were to give them the first Mormon Missionary discussion on his TV show, and then they were to find out about it after the fact?!?

Perfect Combinations

Every so often 2 artist from different genres will combine to create something new, unique and oft times... AWESOME.

So it is with Love The Way You Lie by Eminem and Rihanna



I'm thinking that I may need to find a way to justify purchasing Mr. Mathers new album.

And speaking of perfect combinations... Pearl Jam and Cypress Hill did a great one a decade and a half ago.

On Dancing

An old prospector shuffled into town leading an old tired mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon to clear his parched throat. He walked up and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun
in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other. The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, have you ever danced?"

The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance... never really wanted to."

A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old fool, you're gonna dance now," and started shooting at the old man's feet.

The old prospector --not wanting to get a toe blown off-- started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet. Everybody was laughing, fit to be tied.
When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.

The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers.

The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air.

The crowd stopped laughing immediately.

The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly.

The silence was almost deafening.

The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels. The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands, as he quietly said, "Son, have you ever licked a mule's ass?"

The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No sir..... but... I've always wanted to."

There are a few lessons for us all here:

Never be arrogant.
Don't waste ammunition.
Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.
Don't mess with old men, they didn't get old by being stupid.

Inner Conflict

Glenn Beck is a Freaking Genius!!

I'm going to include a clip from Monday nights edition of The Daily Show with Mr. John Stewart. There is a lot of really good stuff in this clip...

First there is the number one reason I think Obama might lose his bid at re-election. He's trying to cater to both his supporters and his critics and in so doing, pissing both sides off. Mr. President, if you happen to read this, please just stick to your guns and do the right things. Nothing you can say, can or will please any of the narrow-minded idiots on the right side of the aisle. They're upset you're in power, and that you're both black and a Democrat. Unless you can bleach your skin, switch political parties, produce video of your birth in a New York hospital, start a war in at least 3 middle Islamic countries, further destroy our economy by giving increased tax breaks to the rich, and then giving Sean Hannity a blowjob, I don't think you could ever please them, and even then, success would be doubtful.

Next he shows the complete hypocrisy of the pseudo news station which is Fox News. And in so stating that, I should point out... The Daily Show is a comedy show, not a news show, but despite that key difference... Mr. Stewart and his crew are actually consistent with how they cover events.

And finally, he engages the comedic genius of Mr. John Oliver for a fun look at political correctness and religion. The playground and the cathedral comment was perhaps the highlight of this exchange.

But in the midst of all of that, he showed two clips of Glenn Beck. Now here's where I struggle a little. I used to be a HUUUUUGE Glenn Beck fan, even after I started leaning left, and then all of a sudden I just couldn't stand him any more. For a while now, I've been wondering why it was that I experienced such an extreme shift in my feelings and thoughts. However as I watched the two clips shown of Mr. Beck, I realized that it wasn't necessarily me that changed.

I've heard bits and pieces of this theory before, but it wasn't until laying in bed last night that it hit me... Glenn Beck is a Genius!

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party

Let me explain...

The Glenn I used to like... He's the guy in the second clip. The one wearing jeans and with his tie loosened. He's also not wearing glasses, and I think each of those things are significant here.

I didn't have to agree with Mr. Beck to appreciate his arguments, because he actually made arguments and backed them up. He wasn't stuck following a set agenda and was willing to investigate and question things.

I liked that Glenn.

But he's transformed himself, and that is where the genius comes in.

Pause for a second, and lets look at Mormonism, to which Mr. Beck converted several years ago. Here is a religion, which in exchange for eternal salvation (or at least the illusion of it), can get it's followers to give up:

10% of their gross income
Additional donations in offerings and charitable support
Underwear choice
Freedom of choice
Significant portions of time every week.

The religion controls most of it's followers political thinking, and gets them to live a strict health code - although the "health" portion is debatable, especially when you look at the considerable girth of some of the more faithful. I've heard it rationalized that it's not so much about health as it is about obedience, but I think that only makes my point further.

I think Mr. Beck has realized the key behind Mormonism, and is using it to promote his career.

Let's go back to the clothing... When I like Mr. Beck he was pretty casual. See the jeans and no glasses comment above. He used to be one of the people, the everyday guys who was on your side.

Now it's suits, ties and glasses. It conveys an air of professionalism, as though he knows more than you do... And if you listen to him, he thinks he does. Mormon leaders are the same... You will never see a Mormon leader, especially not the high up ones in anything other than a dark suit, white shirt and conservative tie.

FEAR

The biggest secret to the success of Mormonism is fear. Fear that you'll lose your family, fear that people in your community will think less of you, fear that your going to be attacked for your beliefs and fear that when you do, you won't have the courage to defend your beliefs.

Glenn lives and breathes fear into the hearts of his audience.

President Obama isn't a man with a socially progressive approach to politics... Far from it, he's an evil, socialist, nazi, who wants to kill old people and abort as many babies as he can. He's not going to be happy until we're all communist slaves, with no freedom, and we're forced to live Sharia law.

OK, that might be a slight exaggeration, and then again, it may not be that far off...

Gotta hand it to the guy though... It's worked phenomenally well for him. His followers are devout and in general can be counted on to use Beck's own words in defense of their positions. You cannot discuss controversial things with a Glenn Beck fan, just as you cannot discuss controversial things with a Mormon, and if you start making sense to them... You become the enemy, someone to be shunned and hated.

I can always tell when I have one on the line, because they manage to include socialism, communism, fascism, the constitution, God and how much the love their country, all in the same sentence.

But back to the topic of this post... Mr. Beck... Sheer Genius... If only he could use his mental capacity for the common good, instead of to promote hate and fear.

I can honestly say I miss the guy who used to host the Glenn Beck show.

AWESOMENESS!!!

Check this out... I'm not sure how to deal with the friction aspects of this project, but I'm sure these guys have some ideas!

Suckage!

So I just heard back from my lending institution... Apparently they've known since last Wednesday, but have been too chicken to call... It took some prompting from me...

BASTARDS!

Anyway, so we thought our home had probably lost about $30k since we purchased it a little less than three years ago...

We weren't happy about it, but everyone is hurting, so we're all kind of in the same boat.

Anyway, after some prodding, the guy finally called me back. I sensed it would be bad news simply because of that...

Turns out that our home got appraised for less than 80% of what we paid for it. And we worked with the appraiser when we bought it to get that initial value as low as possible.

OUCH!!

That also means that I think we're officially upside down in our home as well.

I joked to the banker about walking away and letting the bank take the hit.

I don't think he was amused.

On the plus side... I can now use this to contest my property taxes!

Huge Loss....

So I posted a link on Facebook this morning...

It was to this

It's basically an article by The Rev. Dr. Michael Kinnamon for the National Council on Churches USA Chapter, addressing the issue of the mosque which is being proposed for construction near the site of the 9/11 Trade Center Attacks.

Despite not being religious anymore, I really like Dr. Kinnamon's approach.

Less than 10 minutes after posting the link, I was down 1 friend on Facebook.

I can't figure out who the friend was, so obviously it's not a big loss, and to be completely honest, if that offended them, I'm not sure I really want them on my friends list anyway.

There is a douche-bag politician in Utah, who made a comment some time back about how the Gays are the greatest threat to America. He now claims he was tricked into making that comment, because one of the camera men was wearing a BYU shirt... Perhaps he was worried it was a task force from the LDS Church gestapo like, Strengthening Church Members Committee :-)

Anyway, I've been thinking about it, and I'd like to state for the record, that I think there is another group which is the greatest danger to the USA and it is an actual threat.

I think the greatest danger to the world is members of any religion who take a fundamentalist approach to it.

The greatest threat to the United States is fundamentalist Christians.

Hey folks... Christianity has had it's shot at running things, and it was one of the prime reasons why people fled England to seek out a better life here.

On Anonymous Comments

If you have a blog and you've been the recipient of anonymous comments - as have I - I think you'll find this true.

It was a tweet by Andy Borowitz

Anonymous blog comments are the Internet's version of flaming bags of shit left on a doorstep.

Hey Santa Claus!

So you know how I had a wee technical issue at work a few weeks back, and ended up playing Jane Fonda for all to hear? Well it turns out that no-one really heard it, fortunately, but I was reminded of a similar incident I had as a kid.

Before I get to it... Sorry the posts have been scarce this last week. I had a pretty grueling race weekend, and that combined with lack of sleep, stress from numerous sources and other crap has left me pretty wiped out.

And then also... The language used in the following clip is most certainly NSFW (Not Safe for Work). Actually if we're being honest, it's not really safe for anyone with sensitive ears.

The artist is an Australian gentleman by the name of Kevin Bloody Wilson.

So there I was, probably about 15 or 16, and a friend at school had given me a tape to borrow. I forget what the first album was on the tape, but I do recall having it in the family stereo, and cranked up loud enough that I could hear it outside.

I'd heard about the Santa Claus song by Mr. Wilson in the past, and I do recall that my friend had mentioned that he'd grabbed some of Mr. Wilson's music. Anyway, so I recall, walking out of our garage and hearing a melody, and hearing... "Hey Santa Clause you....".

That was when I realized what it was. I sprinted like nothing else to turn it off...

I don't know how long it had been on, or how many members of my family had heard it.

I suspect that had anyone heard it, I would have been given a stern talking to, but who knows.

Anyway, with the NSFW warning in mind, here's Mr. Wilson...

2 Ladies

Today is an interesting day... It started yesterday actually, when I found out about Prop 8 being overturned, and if I may say...

HELL FREAKIN' YEAH!!

The thing is though, as soon as the facebook notes went up about it, the usual crap from the so-called Christians started. I commented on a post or two, and even considered putting something up on my Facebook page. On one hand I want to make sure I stand by what is right, but on the other hand, I'm learning that you just can't have a rational discussion about an issue with people who have no rational reason for believing as they do, and quite honestly, I'm getting really sick of hearing Mormons express their love for their gay brothers and sisters, and then start bitching about how they don't want the gay lifestyle shoved in their faces.

On that note, perhaps a few words of advice...

1 - If you're a Mormon, and you're going to bitch about having someone else's lifestyle or beliefs shoved in your face... It may be a good idea to quit doing the same thing. Thinking you're right, doesn't necessarily make it so!

2 - If you're a Mormon, and you're going to whine about Muslims who want to build a mosque some place (I had this conversation on Tuesday with someone), please understand that by so doing, you should probably also give up bitching about communities who protest temples.

3 - If you're going to go back to the argument (Like the LDS PR folks did) about how the popular vote has already declared Prop 8 to be law... How about we have a national vote on whether you guys should be allowed to keep your tax-exempt status and yet refuse to divulge your finances, or how about a national vote on whether you should be allowed to go door to door pissing the rest of the country off. If that did happen, I suspect you'd be crying about the Constitution and your rights louder than any of the LGBT organizations.

Moving on... Today the residence of the Koda family is going to receive a visit from an appraiser. It's a bit of a gamble we're taking to try and reduce our monthly living expenses, because we're just not making it.

We're going to find out just how badly we got screwed by the economic crash, and hopefully discover, it wasn't enough to prevent a refinancing of our mortgage.

It could go either way... If it doesn't appraise for as much as we need it to, well, we'll be out $400 and have to find other ways to try and make it through.

If it does, we'll get a small infusion of cash now, but it could end up costing us an additional couple of thousand over the life of our loan. Of course on the plus side, we'll be getting a RIDICULOUSLY low interest rate, and so it may actually work out for the best.

So, with nerves on edge - Oh - and I'm doing the BAD ASS series of races in Midway this weekend... I figured today's post needed to be light...

I KNOW! TOO LATE!

So these two ladies die and go to Heaven.

(I know I'm an Atheist, but this is a joke, and it doesn't work without heaven. Actually if we're being honest, when you review the subject matter, perhaps heaven isn't the place they should be, but anyway....)

1st woman: Hi! Wanda.

2nd woman: Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die?

1st woman: I froze to death.

2nd woman: How horrible!

1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?

2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

1st woman: So, what happened?

2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.

1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer---we'd both still be alive.

The Piggies

This is a 'cute' post. My apologies to all my more masculine readers.

My daughter purchased a guinea pig for her birthday this year, and in an effort to avoid having the little rodent get lonely, Mrs. Koda purchased one at the same time. My daughters pet is still hovering with respect to names. Some days she's Little Miss Speedy, and others it's Hannabelle. Mrs. Koda's pig is named Miss Bennett.

Miss Bennett ended up being the more dominant of the two, and was largely responsible for us having to purchase two cages. She is also the more friendlier of the two - far less skittish and very curious.

I'm working from home today, and one of the little Koda's brought Miss Bennett over to the table where I am working. She took a while to adjust to me, the laptop and the table, but after a few minutes, she's managed to get on the keyboard and open an additional 20-30 help windows in my browser.

I pushed her off to the side, and all of a sudden, she mellowed right out. Her amble belly seemed to sink and spread out on the table, and it almost looked like she might be going to sleep. I ignored her for a while, but it seemed a little unlike her... And that's when I realized...

There is an air vent on the side of the laptop and it gently blows out nice warm air from the processor -> right where Miss Bennett was sitting.

Gay LDS Leadership?

I'm not going to accuse LDS Leadership of anything, since I don't really think this is something which is an accusing type thing. It's just kind of sad that the men who could do something about the environment which prevents people from becoming who they really are, are under siege from themselves.

Below is an abstract from a study conducted at the University of Georgia.

Full Study Here

The authors investigated the role of homosexual arousal in exclusively heterosexual men who admitted negative affect toward homosexual individuals. Participants consisted of a group of homophobic men (n = 35) and a group of nonhomophobic men (n = 29); they were assigned to groups on the basis of their scores on the Index of Homophobia (W. W. Hudson & W. A. Ricketts, 1980). The men were exposed to sexually explicit erotic stimuli consisting of heterosexual, male homosexual, and lesbian videotapes, and changes in penile circumference were monitored. They also completed an Aggression Questionnaire (A. H. Buss & M. Perry, 1992). Both groups exhibited increases in penile circumference to the heterosexual and female homosexual videos. Only the homophobic men showed an increase in penile erection to male homosexual stimuli. The groups did not differ in aggression. Homophobia is apparently associated with homosexual arousal that the homophobic individual is either unaware of or denies.

And Now for Somthing Really Offensive!

So I had this thought while I was swimming yesterday. Swimming is a great way to think. The only thing better I've found is trail running, but that's because if you lose focus on your breathing when you're trail running, you don't choke yourself of chlorine and likely urine enriched water.

Now, just to warn you all... This is going to offend people who lean right. You can get offended and offer an opposing view in the comments, but please don't start bitching and whining about stereotypes and then progressing toward bad language when I ask you to back up your opinion. Since this is my blog, my opinion rules, and the burden of proof rests upon you... Or something like that...

So I work with a guy, who likes to refer to himself as a free market capitalist. He's a nice enough guy, and I think if I needed help, he would likely be willing.

I've seen him make some big purchases lately, and I've noticed something... All that matters to him is price and value.

Now I'm not exactly unlike that. I like getting value for my money as much as the next guy, but I will differ from him slightly if there are extenuating circumstances...

If I want to purchase a product and I find out that along with the best value for money, my product is also responsible for child labor in China, or helps fund war efforts in Africa, I will make it a point to go somewhere else or go without.

I fully suspect that my co-worker will ignore these details because to him there are irrelevant. He believes the market should speak for himself, and as far as any resultant moral responsibility, that probably belongs to those who are first in line perpetrating the crimes.

Now I don't know this for sure, but my interactions with him lead me to believe that this is the case. As further evidence, I cite myself, a former free market capitalist and a person who would likely have done the same thing.

So where do capitalist and the rest of us differ? I don't think socialist, liberals, communists, or any other group would like to deprive themselves, and if we could better our situation I think all of us would.

I think the difference lie in the moral expense of our decisions and this is where I'm going to make the generalization.

In general, most capitalists worry only about the sticker price, return on investment and cost to them when considering a purchase or other financial based decision.

I suspect the rest of us, if aware of extenuating circumstances would like consider the other costs as well - moral, environmental and all of that.

I think it ties in with the post I did a few weeks back regarding a certain Conservative Christians opinion that God put us here to rape the earth. I think many of the Free Market Capitalist folks are likely the Conservative Christian types as well, and they've been endowed with an incredible sense of entitlement, and as long as I get what I want, screw the rest of the planet...

Now, they won't admit that, and they'll likely cite their God, Jesus of Nazareth in their defense - plus they give all that money to their Church, and that's charity because it says so on their tax forms. But the funny thing is that Jesus wasn't a Capitalist, in fact, I suspect Jesus would have been an almost pure democratic socialist these days.

On Being an Offensive Pratt!

I had a thought for a blog post this morning. It's something I've observed and is one of those thoughts where I generalize and would likely get a lot of nasty blog comments from my right leaning readers - assuming I still have any!

But I've decided to postpone the sharing of the aforementioned offensive and generalized observation in lieu of something which I think is better.

Some weeks or perhaps months ago, my good friend from the land of Oz, Ms. Morgan Mouse, retweeted something hilarious by a guy called Mark Morford. I don't know much about Mr. Morford, but having followed him since that time, he would appear to be a columnist with similar leanings to myself and a gift for making witty comments on occasion.

So, first and foremost... Thanks Ms. Mouse turning me on to a good resource.

This morning, Mr. Morford tweeted a link to an article he has written called, 10 amazing truths you already suspected (Volume 5). They're all good points, but I would like to focus solely on the first...

Actually I think his words do a better job than mine, so without further ado, here's item #1 on the 10 amazing truths list:

I know what you're thinking: In these times of acrimony and divisiveness, is it still possible to find peaceful consensus? Can any group of educated individuals ever agree on anything worthwhile, besides Blue Bottle Coffee, the Fiat 500 and grilled sausages in summertime?

Good news: They totally can! Watch in awe as every one of the country's 238 respected presidential scholars recently agreed, without the slightest doubt or hesitation and despite all their varying backgrounds, ages, political affiliations, heights and weights and hairstyles, that George W. Bush really is the worst president in modern history, and the 5th worst of all time. Wonders!

I've been tempted to post the link to the study on Facebook too, but I have too many idiot friends over there who think the sun still shines out of Bush's ass and that Palin should be the next president. I just don't want to hear their lousy refudiations of it.

Happy Birthday!

Since I have neither the body, nor the voice to pull something like that off...

I just added my name to a birthday card that the Obamas are giving the President for his 49th birthday on Wednesday, August 4th.

Can you join me?

It’s a great way to help make it a memorable birthday for him, and to show we’re ready to stand alongside him, fighting for change in the year ahead.

http://my.barackobama.com/barackbirthday-inv

Thanks,

Urban Koda

It had to be this song...

Occasionally I'll listen to music at work. I work in a cubicle, so to avoid annoying, or worse, offending my co-workers, I have a nice set of headphones I plug in, and off I go.

As an additional piece of information to setup for this story... I was listening to the radio on the way to work this morning, and the last song was one I hadn't heard before. Turns out it was "Don't Trust Me" by 3OH!3. The lyric which caught my attention was "Do the Helen Keller, and talk with your hips."



It kind of reminded another song. Jane Fonda by Mickey Avalon.

Anyway, so that song - the Jane Fonda one has kind of been on my mind today. I got my computer all logged in early today, got the headphones plugged in and I was good to go. The sounds quality has been kind of iffy all day, although since I didn't have my headphones on much it didn't seem like a big deal.

Then I went running over lunch, got back, finally dried off, and settled in for some solid code debugging. I figured it was time to crank the tunes up. Found the Jane Fonda song on YouTube - Not the clean version either and proceeded to listen.

About 2 minutes into the song, I feel a tap on my shoulder, and my co-worker informs me that she can hear my music.

It turns out that the headphone plug didn't fully engage this morning. Which explains the lousy sound quality among other things.

Unfortunately 2 minutes into the song is enough time for the following gem to broadcast to all my co-workers...

"If you were lucky, licky, licky, sucky, sucky. Mickey, Mickey, F*ck me, F*ck me."

That's just one groovy line, amongst a whole host of others.

I was sweating prior to being told that my speakers were blaring the soulful lyrics of Mickey Avalon, but this little discovery upped the amount of sweat quite considerably!!

DOOOOOH!

Hot Out?

Smelling the Roses

I've been a little scarce of late. Don't worry, I'll be back soon, I'm just taking a while to smell the roses. We've been trying a couple new things of late.

One of them is that we've started eating dinner together as a family every night - and not just that, but we've been doing it at the table as well. Our oldest son calls it 'Fancy Dinner'. They all seem to like it, so I think we'll keep it going.

Other than that, things in the Koda household are going as well as can be expected with 5 kids.

I'll be back soon!

Avoidance

I've been trying to avoid morning meetings over the past week or so, and I'm likely to do so for the next couple of weeks too.

You see Le Tour is on, and since I don't have Versus included in my satellite subscription, I need to watch it online, and since it's in France, it's on while I'm at work in the mornings.

Now, don't worry, I'm still working, I just have the audio on in my headphones and the small video up on the corner of my screen.

Aside from the racing, I like watching some of the great French scenery, and some of the stuff which the fans do.

I snagged this screen shot this morning. It was put together by a group of farmers and featured a high power hose coming out of the wine bottle.

AWESOMENESS!!!

Stress

"Stress is caused by being 'here' but wanting to be 'there.'"

~Eckhart Tolle

Ain't that the truth!

An Apology

Found the video below over on Swearing Elders.

Now in my defense... I hated door knocking, and I would generally do anything I could to avoid it. When I was compelled to however, as soon as I could tell the person wasn't interested, I would back right down. I also don't know if I ever engaged in door-knocking or tracting before noon.

Since there is no way to go back and apologize to anyone I annoyed by knocking on their door - unless of course I head back overseas and knock on their doors as well, I thought instead that I would issue a global apology.

If Umfundisi Koda ever knocked on your door... I humbly apologize for the intrusion into your lives.

Dude, you missed something...

Sometimes when I run I listen to music - generally just when I'm running laps around the track though. I listen to a bunch of stuff from hard rock to techno, hip hop to pop. Recently I've been listening to Mash-ups a lot, and a set of lyrics which struck me as odd, have been in my mind recently.

I believe the artist of the original song was a guy who goes by the name Nas, and then song is entitled Dance.

Here are the lyrics in question...

The galaxy is so enchanting beyond, Galileo's understanding
Past the milky way and all the planets
There's something out there greater
But only god knows, scientist claim we came from apes
But they lies though, that was part of our conversation
I spark one up and start blazing

OK, lets look at the first part...

The galaxy is so enchanting beyond, Galileo's understanding.

I'm liking this so far, and I like Galileo. The thing with Galileo, is that he was persecuted by religion for contradicting their teachings.

Past the milky way and all the planets

Yes, milky way and planets... I'm wondering if he knows that the Milky Way is actually the galaxy to which he seemed to be referring in that first line.

There's something out there greater

OK, possibly... Some might call this God, or some might just consider this the universe beyond our galaxy.

But only god knows, scientist claim we came from apes

OK, only god knows what? That there is something outside our galaxy? Or is it only god that knows there's something greater? Does only god know god exists, in which case how do we know that god knows he exists. Or something greater... Galileo discovered something greater, so now he knows - and now Mr. Nas apparently knows, and scientists are continuing to discover new stuff out there... So where does the barrier between what scientists know, and this god person knows actually get breached?

Scientists claim we came from apes? Actually scientist theorize and the evidence seems to support the idea that we and apes share a common ancestor, not that we evolved from Chimpanzees or anything like that. Seriously... If you're going to knock evolution, perhaps you should actually understand what it is your knocking. Hold up though, he presents his proof next...

But they lies though, that was part of our conversation

OK, so evolution is a lie... A large number of very intelligent people have investigated this thoroughly and found significant supporting evidence, but it's simply a bunch of lies. Pray tell Mr. Nas, and by what superior intellectual basis do you make this claim... I should mention at this point that the songs about his Mama... His Mommy told him that the scientists were lying.

I suspect Mommy knows this because the nice people at Church told her this. Which brings up the Galileo thing. So you talk about the great work Galileo did, which work was rejected by the Church as heresy, and yet, you accept, completely without any evidence, the notion that evolution is a lie?!? Most likely as an indirect result of it being learned from the very same religious movement which claimed Galileo was a liar.

I spark one up and start blazing

I'm thinking he's talking about lighting up something other than your average cigarette or other preferred tobacco product, and so in light of that assumption...

I guess that about explains everything now, doesn't it!

I only wish I was kidding...

Consider this quote:


The ethic of conservation is the explicit abnegation of man's dominion over the Earth. The lower species are here for our use. God said so: Go forth, be fruitful, multiply, and rape the planet -- it's yours. That's our job: drilling, mining and stripping. Sweaters are the anti-Biblical view. Big gas-guzzling cars with phones and CD players and wet bars -- that's the Biblical view.

OK, let's play a game... Who do you think came up with that quote, and were they serious?

Is it...

A) A completely serious conservative Christian who genuinely believes it.

B) A misquoted conservative Christian (CC), or CC who said it by mistake.

C) A liberal blogging fiend poking fun at CC's.

D) None of the above.

Actually folks, that quote comes from the same person who is responsible for my not listening to the Sean Hannity show for many years now. I used to like his show, but I turned it on one day, and some woman was going on and on about the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, and how it was allegiance to that God that demanded that we eradicate Islam, or something like that... And then Mr. Hannity agreed.

Ann Coulter, conservative columnist and apparently someone who believes God put us here on the earth to rape it. Ummm has the definition of rape changed?

Anyway, this is my less serious blog, so let me direct you to the source of my discovering that quote... Because it is totally real - see here.

The source is somewhat funny, although at the same time it's kinda sad.

Tea Party Jesus
The words of Christians in the mouth of Christ

Oh, and in case you were wondering... The answer was A... And it's in print, which means it was deliberate and made it through editing.

Coming to pass with exceeding soreness...

First a warning... If you are one of my active LDS readers, might I suggest you skip this post. It's nothing controversial - well, not really, but I'm not going to make any points worth debating or anything like that, and I suspect the humor may be lost on you as well. I'll try and find something to make up for it a little later today, or tomorrow.

There is a blog out there called Dwindling in Unbelief. I only discovered it a week or two back, but the dude (I'm assuming) has some funny stuff.

Recently he's been reviewing the Book of Mormon, and putting together a commentary for each chapter. One thing that has been interesting for me as my beliefs have changed, is that much of the brilliance and inspiration in the book has gone as well. I think if you read it as a holy book, perhaps that remains, but when you don't... Well, it leads to things like Mr. D.I.U's posts.

1 Nephi Chapter 1 And it came to pass exceedingly

1 Nephi Chapter 2 The incredible journey begins

1 Nephi Chapter 3 Oh my heck! We forgot the brass plates!

1 Nephi Chapter 4 Better for one man to die that a whole nation to dwindle in unbelief

1 Nephi Chapter 5 After this manner of language did they speak

1 Nephi Chapter 6 It mattereth not to me that I am particular

The Wisdom of Conan

This tweet was too good not to post out here...

ConanOBrien: Larry King’s retiring after hosting “Larry King Live” for 25 years. Personally, I think hosting anything longer than 7 months is overkill.

And then he followed it up with this not quite as funny, but still worth a laugh tweet...

ConanOBrien: I don't care where LeBron James ends up... As long as it's not at 11pm on TBS.

Suckfest Averted!

I was worried that this weekend was going to suck...

We've got a Church thing on Saturday which... Well the short version is, that it's going to suck, and suck hard.

Plus... Mrs. Koda spent most of last night up with a sick kid, and if her online diagnosis is right, it looks like we'll have that little virus around for another couple of days. Which is just great after we spent $25 for the doc to tell us that she's fine (102 degree fever) and he doesn't think there's anything wrong.

And it's my birthday this weekend, and I probably won't get myself anything, because our finances are in the crapper!

BUT NONE OF THAT MATTERS NOW!!!

Folks, I stumbled across what may indeed be the funniest website of all time.

I'll post the link, but I should first warn you that it probably is not safe for work, small children or people sensitive to bad language.

All that aside, I just laughed myself silly, and about choked trying to hide my laughs from my fellow cubicle dwellers.

Happy July 4th Weekend Everyone!!!

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