Monday, March 17, 2008

Move your Freakin' Dog!!!

So there I was Saturday, running around the park. It was starting to get cold and the wind was picking up. At first I thought I was hallucinating, since in the distance the appeared to be a small polar bear walking the path. As I got closer, I realized it was a big fluffy white dog, and a nice older gentleman. Perhaps I should add that at this point, I had been running for well over an hour and a half, and was up around 10 miles. I wasn't loving life, but I wasn't hating it either - at this point it was just keeping things going.

So I have my pace down, the mp3 player had just finished Def Leppards' greatest hits, and was starting Linkin Park, and here comes the nice old man and his fluffy dog.

As I get closer the dog see's me, I move to the other side of the path, the dog moves, I cross back, the dog crosses back. The old man smiles. The dog then walks right in front of me. I try to move her aside, but she's a big dog, and she manages to get her butt right in front on me. I stop, push her aside with my legs and hands, and then try to start running again. I look up at the old man, expecting a kind apology.

The bastard laughs, and then roars - "Ha Ha!! She ran right into you". Stupid Jackass. I'm not sure if it was that, the icy wind which had started or the fact that I was listening to Linkin Park, but either way I got pretty worked up. The next mile I did in 8 minutes, all the time thinking of how best to handle it if I ran by them on my final lap.

I think I would probably have yelled at him to "Move your Freakin' dog" but I was consider other phrases to try and communicate my disgust for him and his mutt. I also considered picking up a rock, and threatening the dog with it, before lobbing it it at the owner, or running right into the owner, and saying "Ha Ha!! I ran right into you!!". Fortunately for all involved, he took a different path. The path right by the all dogs must be leashed sign.



  1. Yet another reason I don't run. (unless it's on a basketball court or a roughly diamond shaped path.
    Still wouldn't it have been cooler if he was wearing Armor?

  2. True, except that would have seriously hurt my shins as I bumped into him.

    And any polar bear that would wear armor would likely be a lot more intelligent than the dog, nor would it have some ignoramus following it around with a bag to pick up its poop.

  3. You should have gone with your 3rd option, knocked him down and run right over him, silly bastard.