CoGBoMS

Folks, there's a new religion on the block!!

The Church of
GLENN BECK
of Misguided Souls

Looking for a religion that not only supports your belief that Obama and anything related to him is pure evil, but includes divine revelation on how to defeat him?

Well, folks, step right up!

God has spoken to a prophet in our day, and his name is Glenn Beck. Due to the nature of the evilness overtaking our nation, you can attend services via radio or TV any day of the week, and for your tithing, either subscribe to his newsletter, buy his products, or endorse his sponsors.

General Conferences are currently touring the nation, but require membership to block from their minds any involvement of the Bush or Reagan Administrations in racking up the national debt, as well as GW's involvement in the Bank Bailouts, and pin the entire deficit on Mr. Barack Obama. Signs including the swastika or hammer and sickle will ensure your calling and election is made sure, and if you can get yourself on TV yelling about how Mr. Obama is trying to kill your grandma, you get bonus points from the big guy up stairs.



As an aside, if you happen to already be a member of the CoGBoMS, I'd appreciate you sharing what exactly this plan is, since I just can't bring myself to listen to a raging lunatic for more than a few seconds at a time....

Of course there's always a chance Mr. Beck was just trying to be funny, since he is merely an entertainer...

What if the whole tea party thing, and all of Mr. Beck's rants for the past couple of years, were simply some crazy joke that he's taken too far... Wouldn't it be absolutely hilarious if he came out and said as much... And if it happened to turn out that Sarah Palin was simply in league with him. Oh my goodness... I'm going to have a grin on my face the rest of the day.

Fighter for the Greater Good

Mr. John Cleese on Extremism...

Something Positive...

You know with all the gloom and doom going on right now... Idiot Teabaggers with hypocritical signs, people opposing regulation of the financial industry, which industry screwed us all over because they got regulated, and religious fanatics everywhere claiming that recent earthquakes are the result of women dressing sensually and the gays trying to form stable families, there is a beam of light which gives me hope...

I don't watch Dancing with the Stars, but I get regular updates from Mrs Koda as to the state of things on the show. Last night while putting in a couple of miles on my bike trainer, my sweet wife had the results show on, and Kate got kicked off.

America, in that moment, I realized that there are still thinking and reasonable people out there.

I know this is one of those rants which Kate will probably get all bent out of shape about, but lets be honest here, she has no talent, other than being a first class bitch. It's not about her kids either, if she values them, it's only because their existence has allowed her to achieve her apparent goal of full blown media whore. She was a pretty crappy wife too, and while I wouldn't defend Jon's actions in recent years of being those of a mature adult, having watched how she treated him on camera, I think we can all understand.

So long Kate, and while I hope the door doesn't hit you too hard on the ass, I do it it slams securely and locks so that you can't get back in the spotlight for your next 2 minutes of fame... No doubt... "For my children...."

Duelling Quotes

Two friends of mine on Facebook, both posted quotes as their status updates this morning. They don't know each other as far as I know, but I thought the timing was interesting...

Person A

When obedience ceases to be an irritant and becomes our quest, in that moment God will endow us with power.
Ezra Taft Benson

Person B

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
George Carlin

I think you all know which one got the 'Like' from me.

And I suspect it would likely be easy for all of you to guess who is militantly against gay marriage, and who spent Saturday cleaning up trash from around a local park...

Render Unto Ceasar

I heard a statistic several years ago, that Republicans in general were happier than Democrats... I'd like to see what that study finds now.

In a related story, a couple of surveys discussed on the radio this morning seemed to indicate that between 18% and 24% of the US population self identify as Tea Baggers. Of that group, most are white married men with above average income and education. These results seem to fly in the face of some of the media footage I've seen of their events, but perhaps it's more just an indication of the diverse nature of this movement.

Anyway, I could continue with a long opinion spewing piece about these folks which may be partly true and may be partly false as well. But dammit, this is supposed to be a place where I can share stuff which amuses me, and to be completely honest, these people are starting to make me nervous. The surveys discussed earlier, also indicated that the main emotion being felt by the baggy folks is anger. I worry that this anger and irrational behavior will reach a point where it spills over into violence, and will put my family at risk... But again, this isn't the place.

SO......

Please enjoy this hilarious live blogging report from a gentleman in Boston. It's moderately funny if you ready it from the top, but I had a hard time holding the laughter in, when I read it from the bottom up.

Check it out here.

Strange and Flattering

Instead of my usual lunch time run yesterday, I went for a short walk. It turns out that I wasn't the only one with that idea. I returned to the office after several strange and unusual encounters while out in the sun.

The pinnacle seemed to be a young man in different clothing who came stroll up the hill towards me towards the end of my walk. By different clothing, I just mean, not the usual fashion, but he was well dressed none-the-less.

As he passed me, I noticed he was talking on his cell, and as I got closer to him, he paused and seemed to be waiting for me to pass... Fair enough, thinks I, as I would likely have done the same.

I passed him and continued on my way, only to hear him start chatting again... Except the chatting was right behind me... Turns out that as I had passed, he'd turned as well, and was heading down the hill, about 10 feet back, and there he stayed for the next 5 minutes.

Now, I'm not usually one to eavesdrop - Well, maybe I am - I'm a curious guy, but I didn't really have the option in this case, since he was so close and talking so loud.

I don't recall the entire conversation, but it involved a girl and a prom dress and some photographs, and then comes the twist... It sounded like he asked if he could try the prom dress on... And he'd dressed up as a girl before, and apparently many occasions, and usually he wore make up, but not this time. But apparently the dress looked fabulous, and as soon as he got the photo's, he was going to post them on facebook and send them to his friend.

I was a little freaked out at first... The area I was walking isn't known for it's safety, but I figured I would stand a good chance if it came down to him vs. me. The fear dissipated after a while, and was replaced with just a simple fascination on my part.

By and by, he finished his conversation. Told his friend that he loved him, and the next thing I knew, he was gone...

Interestingly enough, there were no places to turn off, and so I can only assume he turned and continued on his way up the hill.

And with that assumption, I have to wonder why he would choose to follow me down the hill...

Is my ass that appealing to young men?!? I wouldn't have thought so, but if it is, I guess I should be flattered.

Mistaken Identity

Courtesy of someone I follow on Twitter...

"Obama is not a brown-skinned anti-war socialist who gives away free healthcare. You’re thinking of Jesus."

John Fugelsang

I have no idea who John is, but... ROTFLMAO John!!!

All Comments Welcome!

I found this gem, courtesy of Chino Blanco, over on Main Street Plaza.

I have a number of thoughts about it, but I'm interested on hearing yours.



There are a few clues in the video, as to the source behind it.

And by way of comedy... I think I shall dedicate this embedment of the video to Morgan Mouse and Travel Vixen.

Screwing It, and Screwing it well

Edited to Add: This was supposed to be a humorous post about the culture in which I live, but I realize having let it stew for a couple of days that my humor was inappropriate and misplaced. I'm not an anti-semite, and generally I'm not really even an anti-Mormon. So, the title has been changed, and I'm going to edit a few things in the body of the post to make it less offensive as well.


On the off chance that I have any Jewish readers... Please accept my apologies if this is offensive, it is not meant to be. For my Mormon readers, I would apologize, but things are what they are. I'm going to make a generalization based on my experience. It may not apply in all cases, but the vast majority of my experiences prove this to be the case.

OK, with all that stuff out of the way...

I was reminded this morning why I generally avoid doing business with Mormons.

The term "to jew" someone appears to have originate in the middle ages when Jews often worked as money lenders. It is a slang term which means to cheat or swindle someone. I hadn't actually heard the term until I moved to Utah, although to be completely honest, I did hear my fair share of Jewish jokes as a kid. The fact that I learned about it in Utah, add a level of irony to my tale.

My experience with actual descendants of the Tribe of Judah has been minimal at best, so I can't comment on the accuracy of the term in respect to them, although from that minimal experience, I can't claim a single incident where a "jewing" has been attempted.

Mormons claim membership, either by birth or adoption to the tribe of Joseph, which technically makes them Israelites, but not Jews. However, even with that claimed ancestry, I think I can state authoritatively that no-one can "jew you" quite like a Mormon.

Seriously, they'll beat you up on price, and then when you deliver, it's never quite good enough for them. But, you'll try and make it right for them, and that's when they start really taking advantage of you, especially if they think they can get something for free.

And then the worst part is, that after they've bent you over, and shoved the pole up your butt as far as they can, and then another inch more, they'll act like they've done you a huge favor. Aren't you grateful for my business, especially since we're fellow children of God?

Perhaps it would be more accurate to simply tell you that I'm in the process of being "Mormoned" It's not significant enough of business that I'm pissed or anything. Actually truth be told, its a small enough deal that I'm actually having a little fun with them right now.

Oh, the blessings of living in "Zion"

Tiger and Tigger and Voyeurs, Oh My!

First of all, and this has nothing to do with the post...

Congrats to frequent blog visitor, commenter and cat-lover Ms. Morgan Mouse on becoming the proud parent of young Tigger.


America, if I might ask a question... Why does anyone still care about Tiger Woods and his infidelity?!?

I'm at the gym last night, watching the news while grinding away on the bike, and the lead story is Mr. Woods down at the Masters. Was it about his golf game? Not really, it was about his fan's perception of how much he's improved since his little confessional.

"It's like he's a different person", said one.

I'm not sure how that's news, but then they cut to one of the sluts he was banging.

"I don't believe him", says she, "I look at him, and all I see if a big fat liar."

Honey, with all due respect, and quite honestly, I don't think any is due...

You hopped into bed with a married man. A man you knew was married, but for some reason, the thought of you getting done by Tiger Woods overcame your now obvious sense of morality. So you did that, and now you're passing judgment on him being a liar?!?!

In other news, and somewhat related. John Remy of the Mind on Fire blog, directed me to this picture comparing the front pages of CNN and Al Jazeera yesterday...

The United States holds in it's history some pretty cool philosophies about freedom and individual responsibility, but I think by and large the populace doesn't really care. Should we be surprised when those nations on whom we impose our foreign policy are offended by it?

What He Said....

On the positive side of things which happened this weekend, was the meeting up with an old friend from many, many years ago. He like me still projects a rather heavy South African accent when he talks, but having live in Canada, lo these many years, he'll also add an "eh" or two on the end of his sentences, just to keep it interesting.

It was an interesting meeting, given that in 18 years, we've had almost no contact with each other or mutual friends. Not having had contact, minimizes points of reference between us, and so naturally conversation was a little jumpy to begin with.

At one point in the conversation though, the topic turned to health-care, mostly due to a personal experience I had some years ago. Without my prompting, he declared that the Canadian Health-care system is one of the things he's most grateful for. He said that at times, it might take a little longer to get in and see the doctor, but it wasn't that bad, and when you do get in to see him (or her) you don't have to worry about what the diagnosis is, and how you're going to pay for it, since it's covered.

He's just your average working guy, trying to provide for a family and improve his life, and so I thought this observation of his very interesting, and a far cry from the appalling state of health-care as portrayed by the media who oppose health care reform.

On that topic too, I also found this rather inciteful commentary on the tea-bagging movement by another blogger. He's using a fan of the sarcastic and comedic post, one of my favorite being his recent application as a sniper in an Idaho militia, but this one came across as quite serious and well thought out.

Jesus' General

Extremes

I need to get back on the blogging train, as I've been slacking in both blogging and blog reading duties.

By way of update... I ran my first 50k race last week. I got done almost 2 hours before I thought I would. It was a great experience, almost spiritual in a way. At one point, I wanted to take a picture (I live tweeted the experience) and tweet it with the simple caption of OMG!! But I was worried that people might think I was in trouble and not simply in total awe at the wonder of the planet on which we live.

Busy week, but it culminated in getting together with a childhood friend. We haven't seen each other since we were 15 and we've had interesting experiences since. I was a great reunion - THANK YOU FACEBOOK! And I was left with a few vivid impressions, which I may blog about later this week.

So that meeting happened yesterday evening. I just found out though, that at the same time, another friend of mine was involved in an incident. Without sharing too many details, after experiencing some marital problems, he opted yesterday to leave this life. In the process of taking his life, he destroyed his families home, as well as the home next door. Thankfully police were able to get his wife, 5 kids and 2 bishops out of the home prior to the explosions. I found out about this an hour ago, and I'm still reeling from the shock. I'm not going to blame his death and the destruction involved on anyone but himself. But with that said, I think religion had a huge role to play in contributing to his mental state which ultimately led to his untimely demise.

It's been an awesome weekend, but just recently it too a morbid turn.