Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Screwing It, and Screwing it well

Edited to Add: This was supposed to be a humorous post about the culture in which I live, but I realize having let it stew for a couple of days that my humor was inappropriate and misplaced. I'm not an anti-semite, and generally I'm not really even an anti-Mormon. So, the title has been changed, and I'm going to edit a few things in the body of the post to make it less offensive as well.

On the off chance that I have any Jewish readers... Please accept my apologies if this is offensive, it is not meant to be. For my Mormon readers, I would apologize, but things are what they are. I'm going to make a generalization based on my experience. It may not apply in all cases, but the vast majority of my experiences prove this to be the case.

OK, with all that stuff out of the way...

I was reminded this morning why I generally avoid doing business with Mormons.

The term "to jew" someone appears to have originate in the middle ages when Jews often worked as money lenders. It is a slang term which means to cheat or swindle someone. I hadn't actually heard the term until I moved to Utah, although to be completely honest, I did hear my fair share of Jewish jokes as a kid. The fact that I learned about it in Utah, add a level of irony to my tale.

My experience with actual descendants of the Tribe of Judah has been minimal at best, so I can't comment on the accuracy of the term in respect to them, although from that minimal experience, I can't claim a single incident where a "jewing" has been attempted.

Mormons claim membership, either by birth or adoption to the tribe of Joseph, which technically makes them Israelites, but not Jews. However, even with that claimed ancestry, I think I can state authoritatively that no-one can "jew you" quite like a Mormon.

Seriously, they'll beat you up on price, and then when you deliver, it's never quite good enough for them. But, you'll try and make it right for them, and that's when they start really taking advantage of you, especially if they think they can get something for free.

And then the worst part is, that after they've bent you over, and shoved the pole up your butt as far as they can, and then another inch more, they'll act like they've done you a huge favor. Aren't you grateful for my business, especially since we're fellow children of God?

Perhaps it would be more accurate to simply tell you that I'm in the process of being "Mormoned" It's not significant enough of business that I'm pissed or anything. Actually truth be told, its a small enough deal that I'm actually having a little fun with them right now.

Oh, the blessings of living in "Zion"


  1. I assume that you know the expression to "gyp" someone is also a racial slur...

  2. I did not... But I was wondering about the origins of that term...

    I guess you learn something new every day!

  3. I've never heard the term "to jew" used that way before. I wonder if it's a Utah thing. I've only heard "to jew down," which means "to haggle and obtain a more favorable price," e.g., "He wanted $10 for the shoes, but I jewed him down to 7."