Monday, July 06, 2009

My Ass is Twitching...

This is kind of like the phrase, "My Ears are Burning", but more sinister and with more of a foreboding of evil type feeling.

Do you know people who are sneaky and manipulative?

I know a couple... Communication ceased with some of those I know about 6 months ago.

I wish it were just a case of wanting to get back in touch, but I have learned by sad experience, that the only reason they start being nice or chatty is because they want something.

In a way it's good. I know their game so well now that I can see it coming a mile away. Unfortunately it also means that even if they ever turn over a new leaf and actually wanted to be nice and cordial and pursue an honest relationship, that I still wouldn't give them the time of day. But I guess that's the price they're going to have to pay for choosing the path of sneakiness and manipulation in the past.

Stay, tuned - In addition to the twitching of my rear end, either later today or tomorrow, I'll share the story of OOORRRLANDO, from my interesting weekend!


  1. Dear Urban Koda:

    With sane people, the best thing to do is just ignore it. Rational folks don't bother those who aren't interested in them.

    Unfortunately, with Mormons, this simply doesn't work. Mormons have this neurotic, unholy, otherworldly compulsion to bother folks who are happy and at peace without them.

    They are literally COMPELLED to do this. (LOL!)

    On the upside, their antics provide a bizarre combination of mirth and pity for those on the receiving end. The more indifferent you are, the more it bothers them.

  2. Yes, ignoring is going to be my primary course of action.

    I think what drives these particular characters is a sick desire to see if their methods, by which I mean attempts at emotional manipulation, are working.

    Primarily, I have lost all desire to deal with them on any level, but you're right, as a secondary benefit, there is a certain amount of sick enjoyment (and a little pity) to knowing that the lack of response is killing them - perhaps its having spent so many years being kind of the same way, and old habits being hard to break!

  3. Oohhh, I'm sorry to hear this ... I want names, numbers, details LOL

    I know what you mean. Emotionally cunning oxygen thieves are best avoided. Invest your time in the people you love and who love you back, people who care about you and who are genuinely interested in your progress as a real live human being. People who are big enough to respect your beliefs, irrespective of whether they agree with them or not.

    I agree with Gregoire re indifference. It is arguably one of the most effective combatants against this kind of behaviour.

    Good luck my friend. If anyone gives you more grief, let me know and I will personally sort them out!! (I can be quite fierce once I get going LOL)

  4. BTW, one of my most *fave* lines on earth is from the flick, French Kiss.

    In his fake French accent, Kevin Clyne says, "Pipple mek mah ass twitch." I laugh everytime I hear it.

  5. Well Miss Poodle... Kevin was my inspiration when I wrote this! It's one of Mrs. Koda's favorite movies.

    That quote and the one with the little Eiffel Tower toy "Reminds me of you"

  6. LOL Mister K, I am glad that Kev was inspirational in your post! As an aside, I used to think the Mormon kiddies were so brave by cycling their bikes to see people and to spread their particular word. But in the last few years, I decided it's just another form of unpaid labour. Oy!
    Half the time, those young men don't even look old enough to read, let alone preach to others. If they enjoy what they're doing, fine .. but what if they don't want to put in all those miles on a bike? What if they'd rather go to the beach than cycle around on hot summer days? Presumably, they have no choice?
    Crikey, I'd be feeding them cookies and giving them gallons of lemonade to help them get their day LOL

  7. Just ignore them, that's my mum's advice, she's not often wrong.
    Being the biggest sticky beak around, I'm waiting for the next post.

  8. Well Mrs. Mouse, I'm afraid it's nothing too juicy... You may recall some of my issues from earlier this year - it's kind of a continuation of that. 6 months of zero communication and then all of a sudden chatting and asking after my welfare like best buddies - too many LOL's included for my liking!

    Mrs. Poodle - Perhaps I need to blog some of my missionary experiences. A great deal of the reason these young men go, is brainwashing from as soon as they can talk. It was both good and bad - for me I spent much of it in a car, and so my last 9 months when I was on a bike, was a huge blessing, allowing me to drop some of the poundage I gained. I have a good friend who put it this way... "It's a million dollar experience, you wouldn't pay 5c to go through again!"

  9. 6 months of zero communication and then all of a sudden chatting and asking after my welfare like best buddies - too many LOL's included for my liking!

    O my gawd that is so my family. They reappear after TWENTY YEARS of peace and serenity without them, hammering my blog on a daily basis and sending me messages that they'd love photographs of me and my children to hang on their walls. I tell them to piss off and never come back. It works for about 18 months (like clockwork) until they crawl up out of their sewers and attempt contact again.

    Uh, you guys raped me, beat the shit out of me and starved me for the first 18 years of my life. When I left, on my 18th birthday, you excused it to the neighbors by telling them I was immoral and a drug addict. So, who the fuck are you to ask me anything?

    Get used to it. They never stop. It'd be funny if they weren't so utterly pathetic.

  10. Yep! I actually had a pretty good childhood, especially relative to you. Sure things could have been done different, but no doubt my kids will say the same thing about me.

    It would appear the mistake on my part was forming my own opinions about life, and those opinions not meeting the 'Standard' set forth for the family.

    I did laugh about the photo's thing - that's been tried as well, albeit indirectly. Mind you they didn't want pictures of me, just my kids, and they wanted email access and that kind of thing too.

    I see how they've reacted to my deviations from the path, and worry that the same guilt and manipulation techniques will be used on my kids as well.

    Not as long as I'm alive to stop it, and hopefully I'll be successful in putting barriers in place should I ever meet an untimely demise.

  11. I actually had a pretty good childhood, especially relative to you.

    You know what's really sorta sad... I've talked to many, many, many people in the last couple of years who had it much worse than I ever did. My story isn't even close to the worst story.

    Utah is a really lousy place to raise kids. People there seem to have normalized idiocy.

  12. Well if this is what's going on in the Mormon community and no one is standing up to stop it, that's a tragedy. And it's ironic, then, that they raised all that money to stop gay marriage. Seriously!

  13. There are some who try to stand up, and often that does some good, but often those that stand up, get quieted down, because the powers that be would rather protect the external image of the organization than affect real change within it.

    I was thinking about it last night, since there are a lot a very good, very sincere Mormons, who wouldn't think of mistreating their kids, but then there are some real scumbags too.

    I wonder if the Mormon Church isn't a lot like a police force... Most cops I've met or associated with are great guys, they're in the job to make a difference and try to do that everyday. Every so often though, you get some nut job, who's got some violent tendencies he wants an outlet for, and becomes a cop so he can throw his weight around, and be a royal jackass with a badge and a gun.

    There are cultural aspects within the Mormon community that seem to attract nutjobs and/or control freaks, like those that seek to impose their warped beliefs on others - hence Prop 8 support - I'm thinking that discussion involves a whole other post though.

  14. Sorry for ruining the mood and derailing the conversation. My extended family certainly is nutty, even by Mormon standards.

    It was only when I read this fellow's blog that I realized I wasn't some freakish anomaly. He's one of many who had things much worse than I. Here's another example:

    I was lucky in that people on the outside seemed to take an interest in my welfare. As a result I spent a large portion of my young adulthood out of reach of these loathsome fucks. Far too many kids, at least in my generation, had no such luck.

  15. in my confusion I took this as another one of Gregs so I don't even know Urban Hello..
    I do believe we have a way away from it not give them any energy..any what so ever..I only give my energy to lovely wonderful things that make me laugh, and smile, and feel good...alright and sometimes you need to share things that bring you to tears..but then smile again by not holding on to it.
    All memories for me are like bubbles the violent, cruel, heartless ones can not float so I let them crash to the ground and break, the rest float on warm breezes, and sometimes you can catch one and slip inside like walking into a room.
    Copeing skills some say..
    interesting world builder I say :)

  16. Hello Luna! Welcome.

    I like the bubble analogy... These kinds of people only seem to have as much power over us as we let them have... In mine, perhaps as in the case of others, it seems as though for years, my happiness has been tied to their's, and it both liberating and scary to have that connection severed.

    I'm getting there, albeit slowly.