Tuesday, August 31, 2010


OK Folks, I have a challenge for you.

Glenn Beck has been sharing 'The Truth' with the world, that the inhabitants of the ancient America's where descended from the Israelites.

Since most of his audience have unfortunately lost the portion of their brain which enables them to think things through, they've become accustomed to just accepting what he says as gospel.

I suspect that Glenn may have been called as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and as such is taking very seriously the role of teaching Mormon Doctrine to his viewers.

Back when I was a missionary, we used to teach a series of discussion to people who were interested in Mormonism, or people who were too nice not to let us visit with them.

The first discussion went like this:
  • God is cool, and lots of people believe in him, and so do we

  • Jesus is cool and we believe in him as well

  • God wants to talk to you, but you have to have a prophet to tell you what God wants to tell you

  • God has a prophet, and one of those prophets was Joseph Smith

  • Joseph Smith was awesome, because he translated an ancient record. It was the history of the Native Americans

  • Read it, and then ask God if it's true, and he'll tell you it is. And then we want to come back and ask you to join our Church

Now, they've changed the discussion a little since I went through the training program, and I'm sure in Glenn's case, he's had to adapt them a little to suit his audience. I know I had to when I was teaching someone who's third language was English, and they believed in Ancestor worship.

So this is the approach Glenn is taking...

He started his discussion with a little BRT. I left that out, but it's an acronym for Building Relationships of Trust. You want the people to like you, so you find something common which they believe in, which you can build on... Nice flowers you have, I used to garden before I was a missionary. Those red ones sure are pretty!

In Glenn's case it's fear and hatred of Islam. I must admit he did a phenomenal job.

Then he gave a quick summary of his belief in God and Satan. Don't have to dwell too long on this, since it's likely a sure bet that 99% of his audience is Christian and subscribe to that belief already.

Now the whole prophet and God speaking to us thing... That's a little tricky with Glenn, since he wants the world to follow him. He actually made a comment about people following him, as he led them too the truth. Talk about an ego.

Anyway, so we've covered God, and then Glenn who is somewhat of a Savior to mankind, and also the prophet who will teach us God's will.

(Comment: This is a sarcastic, hyperbolic type post, but I wish I was being more sarcastic than I actually am with that last paragraph.)

Now the problem Glenn faces is that if he refers to the Book of Mormon, he'll probably lose most of his audience... he needs to be subtle.

Nothing was worse to me as a missionary, than whipping out a Book of Mormon, and all of a sudden seeing the terrified look in a person's eyes, as they realized they were being spoken to by 'MORMONS!'

Anyway, but Glenn's smarter than that, and so he frames the next part inside a conspiracy theory, and uses old books to teach that the ancient inhabitants of the America's were in fact Hebrews.

If you'd like to learn more about why this is all a load of crap, I would highly recommend this series of blog posts by an actual archeologist.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

OK, but now the fun part... I have a challenge for you...

Most of Beck's audience are fundamentalist, uber-zealous Christian types. They likely hate Mormons, but make an exception in Glenn's case, since he hates Obama.

What if they realized he was teaching them about Mormonism?

Can you imagine the look on their faces?

I can kind of imagine it, but I want pictures and videos, because that would be SWEET!!!

So the contest is... Find some die hard Glenn Beck fan, get your camera out, and then share with them the real truth, that Glenn is indoctrinating them into Mormonism. I would be happy to provide more info for you, like a copy of the Introduction to the Book of Mormon and quotes from Mormon prophets about the native Americans, or Lamanites.

I'm looking for that look in the eye. The second their brain pops a blood vessel and they realize they've been had.

I'm not sure what prizes I can offer, which brings me to part two...

Anyone want to sponsor this contest with something cool?


  1. On it...

    No prize necessary for me, just the joy of doing the Lord's work. ; )

  2. "No prize necessary for me, just the joy of doing the Lord's work. ; )", he read, and then proceeded to expel part of his morning beverage over his computer screen, amidst uncontrollable fits of laughter.

  3. Posted a polite, curious wondering about Glenn Beck's Mormon ties and possible missionary spiel this morning in response to someone's worshipful open letter to GB on FB this morning, and was unfriended less than an hour later.

    Not sure where I stand in the contest, but on the homefront I'm definitely winning.

  4. I think you're winning here as well!!

    Loved the Jefferson quote!

  5. Well, he was a great thinker, so ahead of his time...

  6. And the saga continues...

    Apparently, soon after the unfriending, she sent a prayer request to our church for the country to turn back to God. Probably just inspired by the GB rhetoric in Washington, but still, interesting timing.

    I never understand why an entire country that was built on freedom of religion and speech and stuff is supposed to all worship and emulate one God. Nor when it ever did. Seems like the greatest display of patriotism for the United States would be celebrating a diversity of religious beliefs and practices.

  7. I am finding it amusing how all the pro-freedom of religion crowd are all upset about the building of a mosque... Seems freedom of your religion is only good if people choose to worship your God.

    Have you considered sending in a prayer request for those who have fallen under Glenn's pro-Mormonism speech, and may soon be rejecting mainstream Christianity to become Mormon?

    Or perhaps we could come up with some good Glenn Beck/Mormon Pass-along cards for you to hand out on Sunday at the door.