Wednesday, August 27, 2008

I've made it!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen! It has taken at least 6 long months, but I am finally on the EQ reactivation radar, and I suspect there is a good chance I may be on an actual physical list somewhere of "People to Reactivate".

Perhaps some background here is needed... In the LDS Church, there is great concern to be had when a person appears to be on their way out of the flock. In a way it's like the experiment I've heard you can do with crabs. Please note that I have never tried, so P.E.T.A. please don't send complaints, stage an Urban Koda boycott or anything... Anyway, apparently if you put a bunch of crabs in a bucket, they'll fight horribly, but if one crab tries to climb out, they will all work together to drag him back in.

You may recall that about 6 months ago, the infamous light bulb incident occurred. It was in the men's meeting following the incident that the leader of the congregation courageously stood his ground and made an example out of me. Well-timed on his part, since I wasn't there at the time and he was then able to call me later and gave me his version of what happened. I think he was trying desperately to make himself not look like a complete asshole in front of the congregation, but wanted to keep things good between him and I. Dude! Being dishonest is not the way to go about that kind of thing! He probably should have told everyone not to discuss it with me either, since someone else called to explain what had actually happened, and that just pissed me off further.

Some weeks after that I decided it was time to do the Christian thing and 'turn the other cheek'. Although the un-Christian idea of just mooning the lot of them did cross my mind as well!!

So I went back to try and get back into the EQ groove as it were. The topic for the lesson was Anger. In my humble opinion, I think it's a good topic, and one I think everyone could improve in, myself included. Anger is the loss of emotional control, and then the channeling of fear and rage at another person. Nothing good can come of it. The lesson ended with a discussion on how to show righteous anger towards our spouses and kids. WHAT THE HELL?!?

I haven't been back to that class since then. I teach a bunch of teenagers in the time period before, and while I love it, sometimes it's nice to have some peace and quiet when that class is over. For the last 6 months, I've been taking one of my younger kids and coming home for the hour. It gives me some one on one time with the kid, lets me get some things done around the house, and quite often I'll get a head start on lunch as well.

So last night as I was trying to get dressed to head to the gym, and trying unsuccessfully to get my kids in bed and asleep before I left, there was a knock at the door. Two of the leaders of the mens group to which I belong stood there. I probably should have invited them in, but I didn't. Anyway, they brought up that there is a softball game tonight and they wanted to invite me to it. I asked what time, and one of them started to say something about them announcing it in the meeting on Sunday (I was actually at Walmart at the time :-) ) and then he started mumbling and trailed off. Let me just say that I actually really like the two guys who stopped by. They're nice guys and good neighbors, they've just got something tweaked in their brains that makes them duty bound to want to save my soul. It's actually the same with the congregational leader who made the example out of me... Great guy, fantastic neighbor, but as a Bishop I could not have less respect for him.

Anyway, so I've decided not to go... I don't do team sports for a start. It's not that I haven't tried, it just not my cup of tea. On top of that I generally only get home from work at 7pm, and that's when the game starts. So in order to show to them that I want to be a good Mormon, I need to give up the 1 hour a day I spend with my kids, and then also skip my gym workout as well. Sorry guys, ain't going to happen!!

Actually thinking back to the crab in the bucket. I think I got out of the bucket a while ago, when no-one was paying attention. It feels remarkably good, and there is not way in hell I'm getting back in!


  1. Yeah. I'm on the list too. It's been a little while since I went. And our next door neighbor moved in over a year ago and he is the ward mission leader.

    When they first moved in we had them over for dinner. They never once invited us over for anything since. Which is cool. But then last week he asked my wife if we wanted to come over for FHE with them and another family in the ward.

    She said I would be at school but that she and the kids could come. He said "no, that's kind of the whole point".

    Which is bullshit. You only invite us over when I stop going to church and then don't even try to hide the fact that there is a "point" behind the invite...


  2. I think the whole point of a Church should be a group of people who actively care for and look out for one another regardless of activity status or calling.

    That's the important point, and I think those that extend invitation and other attempts at fellowship, purely because of duty or guilt miss that point.

    I keep going back to the opening sequence from Singles Ward. Something about "I was a spy that had defected from the mother-land. I knew their tactics, and they would not be used against me."

    On the plus side, my empathy for 'inactives' continues to grow in leaps and bounds.

  3. I can't wait to hear the story about the guy who called you out on Sunday.

    I mean, this Sunday I want to hear it.

  4. Sounds like a plan! Our wives can probably have a good chat too!

    I tossed my wife the Ensign last night and pointed out the article on "How to be active when your spouse isn't". I think it (the article) annoyed her. I was more of a how to guide on how to be sneaky and trick your spouse into wanting to go to Church.